Psalm 46:1&7 “God is our refuge and strength, a very
present help in trouble. The Lord of Hosts is with us, the God of Jacob is our
fortress.” ESV
I am a girl who likes to know what’s coming. Not that I
cannot be spontaneous at times, but on an everyday basis I like information. I
like to know where my family is, and when they will be arriving home. I like to
have regular work hours, although I am not beyond flexibility. I like to know
how many people are going to show up when we have gatherings. I could go on and
on, but I think I have made my point.
I have lived long enough to realize that expecting life be
concrete and scheduled is not really possible all the time. Wrenches get thrown
into things constantly. Someone like my husband mostly rolls with change, whereas
I struggle. This is certainly an area in which I need an overhaul.
In recent years, I have done a lot of silent processing when
things do not go as planned. This makes those close to me uncomfortable,
because I am very rarely silent. Quiet sometimes, sure, but extremely still…rarely.
My family always can tell if something is “tilting” me. I used to complain, but
now comes the silence. I wonder for them which one is worse. I am sure it feels
very personal, like I am giving them the cold shoulder, but it really is me
practicing release. It is me learning from past mistakes of saying things in
frustration about a situation that I don’t really mean.
During these times, it is God who knows my struggle, what is
in my silence, and my act of straining towards release. He is there in all of
it, and He understands even when others don’t. Isn’t that true with so many
things in our personal areas of battle and brokenness? I have full faith that I
am never alone in anything…ever. I know that my Jesus is there, always
listening, always forgiving, always walking with me, and always covering me
with His grace.
Jeremiah 17:7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.” ESV
1 comment:
We just spoke about New Year's Resolutions in my classes. I discussed how instead of taking on something we will most likely stop within a few days - a diet, exercise, etc. I suggested listening the the words of the Lord's Prayer and focusing on THY WILL BE DONE. Releasing the power of control and allowing God's will instead of our own. I talked about waiting on answers, wanting to know what's next, and always wanting to be in control and how this is a struggle for me. We're on the same wavelength here sister and I will continue to keep you in my prayers!
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