1/27/2022
Job 6:24 "Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray."
In my long journey with Jesus, I have tried to wrestle control from Him far too many times. I do not do this consciously, for if I really thought about my actions I would realize that I am not doing the right thing . When things aren't going well I often try to fix everything without taking a short pause to breathe, pray, and bring the situation before Jesus. I get easily twirled up and emotional. I strategize, talk things through, and try to make a plan. I also overthink; boy do I overthink. Part of this is my having OCD, and part of it is just human nature. All of it, however, is not seeking God's intervention, guidance, or will.
I did just that thing tonight. I am trying to help relieve stress for people I love, so I spent an hour doing research on a topic. I sent it off to the people that need to make a decision while having no pull or sway myself. The issue doesn't actually even affect me, but I feel compelled to "help". I, once again did so out of my own strength without stopping, dropping, and praying. Nope, I just barreled through without so much as a second's pause. I have no say or control over the outcome, but I try to take the wheel and direct the course anyway. The interesting part of all this is that I wrote the first paragraph of this blog BEFORE I turned back into the OCD queen.
I was actively going to encourage you all to take time to bring everything before God, and I didn't even do it myself. I guess this is a area of much needed work in my life. I need to concentrate on being more mindful about this blind spot I have; for it usually ends in nothing but a wreck. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is always there to gently redirect me and, when I listen, set me on a new path. To God be the glory.
I am, as always and forever, a work in progress.
1 comment:
You have an empathetic heart Lehann and you want to help those around you. Often, like you said, some things are out of our control and even when we have come up with something reasonable and plausible, it is sometimes rebuked. You have everyone's best interest at heart and are trying to help.
But sometimes we forget to pray because we think what we are doing is inspired and helpful as well.
From one work in progress to another - I SEE YOU.
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