Deuteronomy 31:8 "It is the Lord that goes before you. He will be with you; and not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."
Today was a tough day. I know y'all understand, because during this extended time of Covid-craziness we have all had them. I found myself losing steam today while my husband and I were out at BJ's doing our bulk run. Home for me has become a fortress and sanctuary as well as a prison, while being anywhere out in the world causes the OCD monster to rear up inside me. We are still wearing masks, but many people are not. Where my husband just maneuvers the world normally even while masked, my "spidey-senses" are raging all the time. I notice everything in the outside world right now, and I mean EVERYTHING. Honestly, it is so exhausting. If a person is not masked, or if their mask is under their nose, or if someone is coming our way and not concerned about keeping their (or our) Covid 6-foot space bubble, I am always acutely aware.
Today, while driving home, I mentioned to my husband that I think it would be nice if everyone had respect right now for one another as far as distancing goes, weather masked or unmasked. This simple statement caused a robust conversation and then guilt on my part. Prior to this crazy pandemic, I had always smiled at people and chatted with anyone who was willing to interact. Usually, those times of contact made me feel blessed and uplifted. Now I walk around like someone always trying to circumvent some sort of toxic zone, but the thing I am avoiding is carried and transmitted by other people. This is where it all breaks down.
As believers, we are supposed to be in the world ministering to and loving others. Sure, this can be done over the phone or on Facetime or Zoom, but after all this time, it's clear that this isn't enough. I realized today that instead of loving others and greeting them with a smile or kind word, I was feeling a slight contempt for them if they were not being as vigilant as I was being. Boy, doesn't this kind of thing just make the evil one rejoice and take a victory lap! I think he has taken a lot of those during this unusual and elongated time of collective struggle.
The interesting thing to me is that we have all experienced this difficult time together globally, yet instead of bringing us together in a common fight and purpose, it has divided us so dramatically. Even the most kind and gentle people I know are VERY angry at the side (vaxxer or non-vaxxer) they do no align themselves with. I have not verbally expressed any of those feelings, but my actions sometimes do. How did we get here? Why aren't we banding together like we do in times of war? After all, aren't we all being attacked by the same little microscopic enemy? Aren't we all concerned for our loved ones? Aren't we all feeling the same level of weariness? Aren't we all just trying to get to the end of this awful time in one piece?
I will admit that I wrapped so much prayer around this issue for such a along time, but other than praying for safety and an end to the pandemic, even I have grown weary in prayer. However, am I not, as a disciple of Jesus, called to be in the world but not of it? Am I following the crowd and listening to the loudest voices full of contradiction, fear, and vitriol, or am I seeking Jesus' guidance and God's Word for how to keep moving forward?
Lord Jesus, please help and guide me during this time, and help and guide Your other children that are so very tired. Help us all to submit to Your will and Your way, and keep us open to every lesson You want us to learn. Please help me find my way back to loving my neighbor and sharing the Gospel with others. Amen.
Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"
1 comment:
Lehann, this COVID world we are still in is so frustrating. We are all weary waiting for the world to right itself. We have been riding this rough boat for almost two years now. We have been thrown around, almost tipped, the water has definitely almost capsized us, and the sea is still raging. But BE STILL AND KNOW THAT GOD IS WITH YOU. We can't control other people although we would love too. Everyone is broken and bearing some type of burden but only through faith and patience and compassion will we win this battle.
Keep the faith my dear sister and this soon will be just another few pages in the book of your life.
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