Leading with Humility and Grace

4/30/2026

James 1:19 "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."

My husband had a very stressful day yesterday. His job is high stress in general, but there were so many battles happening during his day, and his frustration was mounting with each difficult answer and interaction. At one point, he needed to check with his doctor's office about a scheduling question. The woman who works in this position is not very kind; I have actually experienced her brusqueness as well. 

His question was a valid one, but it was met with this woman's usual curt reply. Well, my kind and amiable hubby was gassed out, and he met her unprofessional response with his last ounce of frustration. As he recounted the interaction to me and our son later on in the evening, his level of frustration was still firmly in place, as were his feelings of justification in his pushback. This was understandable, albeit shocking to his small audience. He clearly was having a really difficult day. 

This afternoon, we had a brief phone conversation while he was having lunch. He recounted his morning to me, which included a follow-up call to the doctor's office. He took care of the business end of the conversation and then he apologized to the scheduler. I was somewhat taken aback, touched, and very pleased. He had every right to complain as he did the day before, but the Holy Spirit took hold of him and had his conversation instead be seasoned with salt and full of light. 

Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."

The schedular herself did not apologize for her poor reaction, but she did soften and the conversation was much lighter and respectful. Leading with grace and speaking in a way that honors Jesus is what we, as believers, are called to do. We are supposed to treat other as we would like to be treated and even love our enemies. Too often, I know this is also true for me, we act more like the world and less like people saved by grace. We fall into self-protection and self-righteousness instead of extending grace. The more we are able to do so, the greater the impact on others. We can only do this, however, if we are attempting to stay in a vertical disposition daily. It is only when we remain open to the Holy Spirit's leading that we can be in the world, but not of it. 

John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease."

This short verse is so powerful, and it has become a prayer for me. It helps me keep that all-important vertical focus and helps keep my spirit open to His leading. I will always be a work in progress, but I am not alone, for He will never leave me or forsake me. 

For Dan

4/20/2026

Proverbs 3:3-4 "Let love and faithfulness never leave you;                                                                                  bind them around your neck,                                                                                                      write them on the tablet of your heart.                                                                                        Then you will win favor and a good name                                                                                  in the sight of God and man."

Many of you will remember the film Dead Poet's Society. If you have not seen it, I would highly recommend that you do. The late great Robin Williams plays John Keating, a beloved teacher of a prestigious and highly competitive boy's school. He introduces a group of his students to the clandestine society that he and his fellow students used to attend when he was there, hence the title of the movie. (Spoiler Alert) After a horrible tragedy that is tied to his influence over said group, he gets dismissed from his position. In the final scene of the film another teacher tries to return the boys to the prior levels of conformity the school requires. Brazenly, each boy in turn stands atop his desk and repeats, "Oh Captain, My Captain" from the Walt Whitman poem about the author's grief over Lincoln's assassination and a tribute to his leadership. That quote has rung in my ears the past several weeks except the version I hear is Oh Pastor, My Pastor.   

How do you honor a man who has meant so much to so many people? A minister who dedicated his entire life to service and spreading the Gospel. A shepherd who did not hold his flock at arm's length but embraced each member as his brother and sister in Christ. A gifted musician with a voice as smooth as silk. An intellectual who was well read and well-traveled. A teacher who made scripture accessible, interesting, and alive. A storyteller who had as many amusing anecdotes as he did heartfelt tales. A jokester with a lightning fast and dry wit. A counselor who listened with love, compassion, and never judgement. An advisor who celebrated each birth and officiated at each death. A gentleman who could connect with even the quirkiest kid or adult. A friend who would meet you exactly where you were in life with warmth and comfort. A man who loved Batman, animals, music, movies, his friends, his church, his family, his pups, his dear wife, and the Lord. A man who reminded the church body every Sunday, "You Are Loved." How do you find the words to truly express how much such a man meant to every life he touched? 

Pastor Dan, you have been a faithful servant of the Most High, a compassionate and strong leader, and a dear friend. So, I say in honor of you with immense respect and deep gratitude... Oh Pastor, My Pastor!

Until we meet again in Paradise...

Thank you for giving to the Lord

I am a life that was changed

Thank you, for giving to the Lord

I am so glad you gave.

 (Ray Boltz)

As Season of Loss

4/11/2026

Psalm 38:14 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

(It was a rough day yesterday and this is also a rough topic, so I am posting a day late. My apologies to the few of you who read my ramblings.) 

I first experienced a deep loss in my senior year of high school, when my father died in an automobile accident. Having him home when I left for school that morning to never return again was an unimaginable and untenable time in my life, and the life of our family. Shock, deep sorrow, and an all-consuming grief took hold and stayed for a long time. There are still tender areas in my soul that are affected all these decades later. I have never stopped missing him, but I would argue that is true for everyone that has lost someone they love. It is honestly the most difficult thing any of us will ever live through, and yet we survive what feels, at the time, unsurvivable. 

Those first few days and weeks are like walking through a dense cloud or heavy mist. Everything seems fuzzy and difficult to process; even the simplest of conversations can be utterly taxing and exhausting. Actions often become robotic as you move though the agony of planning and having people come to give their condolences. Unfortunately, at least as it was with my family, after a couple of weeks people tend to go back to their lives and you are left alone, still grieving and trying to piece together a life. My mother used to ask how the world could still be turning without my father. How would anything be normal ever again? The fact is, you have to lean into a new normal, and that takes time. 

Loss can take many forms in our lives. Sometimes it is a death, but it can also be your health, a relationship, a job, a home, a plan for your life, or even a dream. These are just some of the areas of loss that we all experience throughout our lives. Sometimes you can see it coming and try to prepare yourself, and sometimes you can't. 

My family and I are experiencing a loss right now of a different type. It's about a lack of knowledge for years and years, about something profound and immensely important that would have been transformative and changed the course of all of our lives. When you struggle greatly, without a known cause, you are always trying to discover the why. After the enlightening moment, when the answer finally comes, and you learn the underlying reason, you have to work on processing difficult and critical information. Then, you are injected into a steep learning curve while experiencing extreme burnout. The ultimate result, however, is a loss of both time and a fullness of life. With this also comes a grieving for what could have been, if only we had known. Wrapped up with the grief is regret and guilt; a burning desire to rewind the tape or turn back the hands of time. Alas, this is never an option.

So, where do we go in times when loss overwhelms us? Some reach for a substance to dull their emotions. This can take the form of alcohol, drugs, or even food. Some throw themselves into less destructive endeavors like shopping, exercising, or hobbies to distract from their current reality. Some seek out the company of others for comfort and become dependent or promiscuous. These are just a few ways people try to cope, however, and there are certainly vastly more. 

I, like many, sought answers through faith. I wanted to understand how I could have lost my dad so young and find the why of it all. What eventually happened is a journey of discovery. I started asking questions, reading scripture, and journaling. I began to develop a deeper understanding of the fall of man and the broken world that resulted in disobeying God. I also began to truly understand that we sinful creatures can be covered with the gift of Christ's grace. It has been a long and winding road, as it is with many believers, but I am so grateful that out of deep loss came a deeper faith and a deeper trust in my heavenly Father.

It is easy to become weary in times of trusted silence, when answers don't come or when it is "no", but it is these times when we need to lean into our faith and on our loving heavenly Father even more. Seasons of loss will always come, but we have a merciful Savior Who will never leave us or forsake us. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.