2/4/2022
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Walls. We all have them. Tonight, my family and I watched the classic movie Breakfast at Tiffany's. Neither of them have seen it before, but I have. The story is not told in a usual way, and you really have to think about the characters afterward. This fact brought about an interesting discussion. My son mentioned that, at first, he had a difficult time connecting to the female lead character, brilliantly played by Audrey Hepburn. That, I believe, was very intentional by the filmmakers. She is not connected to herself, so how can we as an audience connect to her? Her walls are tall and deeply set with cement; no one can enter save her younger brother, who is serving in the army. We never get any clear reason why she behaves the way she does, but there are subtle clues throughout the film.
I am sitting currently reflecting on the movie, and our conversation has me thinking about how most of us build some sort of invisible wall around ourselves for mental, emotional, and sometimes physical protection. As I have shared in a previous post, I was horribly bullied as a young child by an older group of girls in my small New Jersey neighborhood. This went on for many years, and certainly did a fair share of damage. Mostly, these events made me a people pleaser outwardly and untrusting inwardly. I learned what I needed to do to survive unjust treatment by others. I am certainly not alone in learning this difficult survival skill. Just like Holly in the movie, I lost - or never truly developed - a true sense of self-worth or connection. I felt invisible, and that was mostly okay with me.
Then, in my late teens, while on my spiritual quest for something deeper in my faith journey, I found my value in my relationship with Jesus. I found forgiveness and healing, and because of God's grace I was also able to forgive. Now, my sturdy walls did not come crumbling down immediately, but they did begin to crack and crumble. They are now more akin to ruins of something that once was, but sometimes - even now - I attempt to rebuild those protective walls when someone hurts me. Then I hear that still small voice telling me how much I am loved by the Creator of the universe, and I stop rebuilding. He has been the ultimate Healer of my soul, and it is in my relationship with Jesus that I have found myself.
Jesus is my way, my truth, and my life.
1 comment:
So much to say on this one but I will keep it brief. Teaching high school, I already knew, but I have rediscovered just how horrible people can be to each other. And for no other reasons other than their walls. I tell my kids all the time that the way people treat us has so much more to do with them than us. BUT that is easier to handle as a rational thinking adult than an emotional teenager. But the same applies to adults. I had a situation at the USPS here in town in November. I had parked illegally (my bad) and an old man came out and screamed at me. It was Thanksgiving weekend. He was obviously upset and just not having a good day. I apologized profusely to him and begged what I could do to make it better. He stormed away angry and accepting responsibility for my own poor choice of parking where I did, I decided instead to pray for him. His actions were so severe that there has to be something bigger going on with him. Unfortunately for me I don't know what is going on with him. And all I can do for him was to pray for him. I released it to God. His actions are on him. Although I was in the wrong, I didn't escalate the situation and make it worse. Praying for him was all I could do but it is not always easy to turn the other cheek like Jesus did. I can strive to be like him but I can only be the human best version of myself.
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