A Balm for a Weary Soul

 2/5/2022

Psalm 18:2 "The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

I am a Jane Austen fan. I love the beautifully lyrical language and how her female protagonists are true to themselves and their convictions. I get lost in Austen's stories. When I come to the conclusion of ones of her books, I always find myself missing the characters. They come alive to me even though I am very far removed from their setting and time period. Her novels are a great place to disappear into during this most difficult time. Tonight, I came upon Mansfield Park playing on one of the movie channel stations we get with out cable package. It is not as good as the book, but it was a nice escape for a while. (At least it wasn't another night of HGTV.)

I had a challenging evening. Just like the characters in an Austen book, I feel like I am trying to communicate my thoughts and feelings without much success. I am not a person prone to fiery anger, but I can get to a low simmer at times. I do my best to talk things through calmly, but I usually don't seem to get anywhere. My insights and feelings just breed more confusion and contention. That is when I quiet down and turn inward. If you know me, you understand that a place of solitude and silence is not where I thrive. That is where I currently am. Alone. Quiet, Exhausted. 

It is in these moments of personal struggle that I am even more grateful for my Jesus. No matter how awkward I am, or how crazy I may sound, I know He will always understand. He is not only waiting for me to come to Him with all that is on my mind or in my heart, but He is already there carrying me through every moment of my life. I could not walk this mortal coil without Him through all its pain and suffering, and I am certainly blessed not to have to. He is my anchor, my refuge, and strength.