Romans 11:29 "For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."
I have complained many, many times since the beginning of Covid about the sameness of every day. I have been very bored and have filled my time with mostly vapid and unproductive pursuits. Yes, I have gained weight as well because of inactivity and snacking to fill the void. It doesn't help that the winter in New England (and in many places) has been awfully hard. I have been, other than going to work, pretty much cloistered for the past two years. No trips to look around the stores or go out to dinner. No meeting with friends for tea, lunch, or a movie. I have actually been out of people's lives for so long that I may never be able to reform those friendships and connections. This boredom is truly one of my own doing. I could have handled this time so much differently if I was listening to God instead of the Covid din surrounding us all.
It hit me this morning that as a disciple of Jesus, I should never be bored, because He has much for me to do. If I am in a constant state of apathy, I cannot possibly be living a life that is poured out for Him. How could I ever be dispirited if I am truly serving God? So, I had to look hard at myself and ask: is Jesus enough for me? If so, why do I fill my life with things that are destructive at worse and distracting at best? Why have I ceased to serve during this time of being careful? Couldn't I be doing more every day to reach out to those around me, even if I am not in the same room as they are?
These past two years have been like a slow-moving tidal wave of grief, fear, and living constantly in the unknown. We are all trying desperately not to be dragged under by the weight of it all. I believe it is time for a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual rest. It is time to begin getting back into the life that God is leading me in, and once again walk in boldness without fear, for Jesus is my joy and my strength. It is a time for spending uninterrupted time in study and prayer, and not to be weary. It is a time for action. I am being called to do more, and I am going to heed that call.
2 comments:
Just a few interesting comments about the boredom and inactivity. We had Vocations day last week and these Brothers and Sisters of the Franciscan order came in. They live simple simple lives. They have no possessions - take vows of poverty, obedience, and chastity. And they are the most joyful people. No tv, interest, cellphones, the men sleep on bed rolls, the women do get rooms with beds and that's a luxury, two sets of clothing, two pairs of shoes, etc. They spend roughly 5 hours in prayer every day. I just sent them a written letter to communicate because we want do something to help their mission and they don't even do email. One of them made the comment after a student asked about their boredom with all of the tethers to the world removed and the one said BOREDOM? I'm spending time with Jesus and I'm doing his work. Boredom doesn't exist. Don't despair Lehann - GOD HAS GREAT THINGS PLANNED FOR YOU!!!
Oh my goodness, I love this so much. I admire the Brothers and Sisters for their humble service to Jesus and the simple way they live their lives. This is such a beautiful picture of living a sanctified life.Thank you for sharing.
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