8/19/2020
Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me.”
Once again, this study hits me directly
with its arrows of truth. Chambers writes, “God means us to live a fully orbed
life in Christ Jesus, but there are times when that life is attacked from the
outside, and we tumble into a way of introspection which we thought had gone.”
Today this exact thing happened with me. I severely tumbled into a ferocious
fear mind that I have not experienced in nine years. As I have shared before,
Covid-19 is the perfect storm for someone like me. The infectiousness of it and
the self-isolation are two real triggers. I can usually pray my way through the
anxiety when I start feeling overwhelmed, and find that special miraculous
peace from God. Today though, the destroyer won and I lost my faith footing.
The circumstances surrounding this attack may not have given anyone else a moment’s
pause, but for me it was my undoing. The destroyer has been pulling on so many
threads the past six weeks, and this one wound up unraveling me. Not easy to
admit, especially when you write a daily faith blog, but it is my truth.
Chambers writes, “Self-consciousness is the
first thing that will upset the completeness of life in God, and
self-consciousness produces wrestling.” Whap! This is the reality of my illness
to its very core. He adds, “Self-consciousness is not sin; it may be produced
by a nervous temperament or by a sudden dumping down of circumstances.” Bam!
Yup, that is exactly what I and many others are living through right now. Where
my husband and my son can stay positive, live in the moment, and look ahead to
the future in full faith, I am constantly battling. It is my cross to bear, but
God wants me to carry it gracefully and endure in faith. When I look for Him reaching
out through the darkness, He is always there, but sometimes I close my eyes
tightly, clench my fists, and give in. Even though I fail miserably, God always
shows me the way back to Him, thankfully. Today He gave people dear to me words
of wisdom and love. Amazing grace.
A closing word from Chambers, “Anything
that disturbs rest in Him must be cured at once, and it is not cured by being
ignored, but by coming to Jesus Christ.”
Keep Me In The Moment _ Jeremy Camp
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