Deuteronomy 31:8 "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."
If I have to be honest, I often feel like I am walking through life alone. Yes, I have people all around me, and I am very grateful for that. I just feel like...well, I guess like I'm an alien. Maybe my illness keeps me at arms length from people. Maybe it is just the way I am meant to traverse life. If I had to name someone in this world that communicates most like me, it would be my son. I know, apple - tree. He was my cheerleader when I was recovering, he holds me accountable for things I need help with, and he knows just how to hit me with truth or wisdom bombs. He is such a blessing from God.
Even my son, however, cannot help me when I feel lost. Only God can do that. Jesus is the only one Who truly hears the cries of my heat. Lately, my heart has been crying out to Him a lot. As I have shared the past few days, I am experiencing some teetering moments because of this overwhelmingly helpless feeling that has fallen over me. It feels as if I am adrift without a sail, oar, or rudder to steer by.
Two passages in scripture come to mind, and both are very visual. One is when Jesus literally calms the storm. This miracle is recorded in three of the Gospels. Matthew 8:23-27: "Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, 'Lord. save us! We're going to drown!' He replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked. 'What kind of man is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him.'" The two other accounts are in Mark 4:35-41 and Luke 8:22-25
There is another part of scripture in Acts 27: 27-44, where Paul is traveling by boat on yet another journey, He is still a prisoner and headed to Rome to stand trial before Caesar. A storm that lasted for 14 days was battering the ship that Paul, other prisoners, and Roman soldiers were on. They were afraid and thought they were going to die. Paul told them that they all had to weather the storm on the ship together, and if anyone tried to flee in the lifeboats they would surly die. He knew this because an Angel of the Lord told him. They listened and all made it to shore safely.
In one scenario, Jesus was not at all moved by the violent rocking or the waves crashing over the boat. All he needed to do was speak and the storm calmed. The disciples were amazed. In the second scenario, non-believers listened to Paul, even though he was a prisoner ready to stand trial for blasphemy. Jesus spoke with authority as God, and Paul spoke with authority as a messenger of God. God saw all those who were afraid through the storm, and He will see me through the storm I am experiencing as well. I do not want to be one of little faith even in my weariness and fear; for I know my Savior will lead me through the storm.
1 comment:
Prayers for love and strength and fortitude as you battle this storm Lehann. Hold onto the WISDOM that God is always with you. He is there and he is speaking and trying to reach you. I love you and am always here. You are not alone - miles away maybe - but not alone.
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