Imperfectly Perfect

12/2/2020

Philippians 3:12 “Not as though I had already attained, wither were already perfect.”

I am a pseudo-perfectionist, if that even makes any sense. Having clinical Obsessive Compulsive Disorder may be a part of that for me. When I am doing a project – like crocheting, painting something, or gardening – everything has to come out as close to perfect as I can manage it. There are other areas of my life, like putting laundry away immediately when the dryer buzzer goes off, that I am not as driven to do. So like I said, pseudo-perfectionist. In the past, I would be very hard on myself if a project I was doing did not meet my own standards. I am a little easier on myself in this area recently, but it is always difficult for me to agree that something is “good enough” if I am the one doing it. This often makes projects, like many areas of life that can overwhelm my brain, difficult; I can tire easily in the midst of things. My husband recently read that people who process the way I do are often exhausted because of the mental acrobatics going on all the time. This was a big eye opener for both of us, but it makes perfect sense.

The other area in life I try to achieve perfection in is my testimony and walk with God. I never want to do anything that would make a non-believer see me as a hypocrite, or think that my behavior does not match up with my faith. I often say I would rather staple my tongue to a wall than have my words or behavior not glorify God. I, of course, still fail in this area as well. Chambers writes, “Christian perfection is not, and never can be, human perfection. Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship to God which shows itself amid the irrelevancies of human life.” If I am focused on God and seeking Him in all things, that is all I can do; I must remember that I am imperfect coming before the One who is perfection.

Striving for perfection is exhausting and, ultimately, impossible. It is okay for me to show my frailty to others, especially in my Christian life, for God will use my imperfection to reach others. All that comes about from me trying to be flawless in my walk with the Lord, I believe, is putting forth an unreasonable standard that I cannot even truly attain. My value to others is not in my perfection, but in my brokenness and total reliance on Jesus. Chambers writes, “God is not after perfecting me to be a specimen in His showroom; He is getting me to the place where He can use me.” I am grateful God has made me imperfectly perfect.