Working it Out

6/6/2020

Philippians 2:12 “Work out your own salvation.”

“Your will agrees with God, but in your flesh there is a disposition which renders you powerless to do what you know you ought to do.” ~ Oswald Chambers

Working things out right now is very complicated, but there are some serious fronts that need addressing. We have civil unrest and a need for change regarding equality. We have a virus that is making us modify how we move about the world and interact with one another. We have a broken political system that allows people to stay in power for decades, creating polarization and stagnation. Lastly, we have a culture that has largely shunned its Creator, replacing Him with idols, perverted ideology, and tolerance instead of love.

My deep belief is that God’s word has the answer to everything, yet sometimes I lose sight of that truth when so much is pressing in. One thing I am personally working out right now is how to return to my physical office space. As I have stated many times in this blog, I have OCD that most often presents itself as a germ phobia. Covid-19 is a perfect storm for someone like me, and staying safe and secure at home has been my refuge, however unhealthy it actually is.

Our staff, like many places of business, is strategizing a return plan regarding safety precautions for ourselves and client interaction. My boss, who is aware of my OCD struggle, has been very kind and understanding about the stress our upcoming return may inflict on me. The other day, she graciously reached out to ask about accommodations I may need to be successful. (This was on the same day that another staff member offered support, comfort, and understanding as well. I am truly blessed by those I work with.) I told her I would consider everything surrounding our return and get back to her.

Over the past several days, I have been perseverating (yes, an overactive mind is part of my issue) about how to answer this question, as unknowns are also difficult. I have discussed it with my husband and sought his wisdom. Other than telling my boss that I will need to see how it goes when I get there, I could not think of anything that would help. Then this morning, as I was taking a quiet moment of reflection, it got worked out. As soon as my brain took a much needed break, I heard the still small voice say, “Do you trust Me? I have gotten you through this kind of thing before, and I can – and will – do it again. Do you trust Me?” Just like that, in this quiet moment, I was brought back to the moment I returned to my last job world after taking an extended time off to heal. I was holding onto God with all that I had, and leaning into Him every minute of every day. “It was then, I carried you.” Boy, I truly understand the words from that beautiful poem! So that will be my answer to my boss, that I will trust God for all things and in all things, Covid-19-related and otherwise. I am blessed that she shares my deep faith in a loving and caring Savior, so I will feel free to give her this solution.

So as I reflect on the Chambers quote above, I realize that my will and way do agree with God’s, but often my disposition (outlook, mood, and personality) gets in the way and renders me powerless. It is only when I yield to my Savior that I am able to work out the way I should go.