The Wrong Example

10/9/2023

James 4:7 "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Today I am challenged with the truth of my being a horrible example to others. The area I am talking about (although there are many) is that of my weight. I never struggled with weight when I was younger, and when I got sick, I lost so much weight that people kept telling me how great I looked. I now tie my thinner self to my sick self. I know if a therapist were to have me dig down deeper there would be many other reasons why I continue to stay trapped in the body I am currently in. The truth of the matter, though, is that it hurts my witness, especially to those I am closest to. 

If I am an example in other ways, like reading my Bible, going to church, praying for those around me, or being there for those who need me, that is one thing, but a basic precept of following God and the teachings of Jesus is not to do anything to excess that is harmful or hurtful. This is doubly true when you cause another to not follow in obedience. I know I have been the cause for this to happen, and I sit here heartbroken because of it. It is an area the evil one will continue to use because it is very easy, and I, sadly, am very weak. 

When I was coming out of my compulsive behaviors and laying each one down while crying out to Jesus to help me be free, He answered that prayer. I had to be vigilant in my surrender because my illness was killing me and destroying my family. That battle was harder than any I had ever known (and honestly continues to be most days), but with the Lord's constant help, I can now lead a mostly normal life. 

So, this battle with food and weight is no less than the OCD one. It may actually be a part of it. I need to think and pray on it more. All I know is that it is ANOTHER area of my life that is a destroyer, and one that I must fully lay down at the foot of the cross and submit totally to Jesus. He guided me out of one dark pit, and I know He will guide me out of this one. I just pray it will be an example to those I hold most dear. 

I am a work in progress for sure. 

Still Trying and Praying

 August 26, 2023

Acts 20:24 "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace."

I am a SLOW learner, and an incredibly selfish human being. As much as I try to keep a vertical focus, I fail so miserably daily. Today, as I was trying to show someone close to me a potential issue with boundaries around their job, my focus on Jesus flew right out the window after their rebuttal. I went horizontal with my focus and my view of the situation. It quickly became a conversation, no debate, about who had the strongest points to make. Mine were, of course, wrapped in a "this is what is best for you" point of view. How could I possibly be wrong when I am saying, STRONGLY, that I am just looking out for the particular individual. How could my points possible be incorrect? Well, because they did not start and end with Jesus, prayer, and searching God's Word. Full Stop. The End. 

A Quiet Time

8/23/2023

Proverbs 21:23 "When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent."

If you were to interview most people that know me, they would attest to me being a talker. This is true especially of my siblings, who have teased me about this all of my life. My mother used to say that I was vaccinated with a victrola needle. Since victrolas were even before my time, you young ones will have to google it. 😉 Very recently, however, I have been unusually quiet. Some of the reason is because I am reflecting about all the things that have happened in my life, and some because I am trying to listen more closely to the still small voice of God. My own inner voice is so loud that sometimes, I fear, it drowns out the voice of my Savior. 

I have also been seeking out scripture verses about the tongue and how we speak to one another. Boy, does God's word have a lot to say about this area. The Word is clear that our words can be used both to heal as well as to harm. Such profound truth, and so evident in the current climate of our world. Even as Christians we praise the Lord on moment and cut down a fellow believer the next.

The beginning of this transformation has been a bit jarring to my husband. He is used to me being talkative and animated, and right now I am neither of those things. I tend not to comment or editorialize on much and am working on my reactiveness. I am seeking God's leading when I speak, or at least trying to. Sometimes the old nature slips through, but mostly I am able to hold my tongue or come back to a discussion after the high emotion wrapped around an issue had leveled off. For me, it is all about where my focus lies. It I am focused on myself or those around me I am doomed to fail in this area. However, if I can stay focused on God or listen to the Spirit tap that is always there, it is vastly easier for me. I am not taking this journey alone for God is always with me. I have hope for this process and that my words will no longer be there to just fill dead uncomfortable air or be used to beat a point to death. I believe that God can bring me to a place where my words will edify others and hold more meaning. I pray they reflect the truth of the Gospel and are wrapped with love. 

Proverbs 12:18 "There is one whose rash words are like a sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Reconciled

 

3/14/2023

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

My pup has not seen her best friend all winter. Thankfully, she now has a boyfriend next door. He’s younger, which makes her a cougar, although that seems WRONG! When she sees either of these beloved friends, she gets SO EXCITED and cannot wait to greet them and spend time with them. They bound around and jump in complete joy. It is such a wonderful thing to see.

Just like their quickness to forgive, which I wrote about a few weeks ago, their love for one another is true and without condition. Sure, every once in a while, a tail gets stepped on or they get a little rough, but they come right back to just being glad to be together. I was thinking how it is for us humans and our people. We, like the pups, are often so thrilled to see the special people in our lives. It may be a planned gathering, or we may just bump into a trusted friend and the first blush of meeting is one of joy with hugs and how are you. Sure, we are happy to see one another, but one patch of roughness can sully the whole experience. Offense can happen quickly and then we may not be so excited to see them the next time.

This past Sunday, the message at my church was about reconciliation. Our pastor spoke about both being reconciled in our relationship to each other and to God. He even spoke about resolution and understanding within the church. This was a challenging message because it called those in attendance to really examine the state of their relationships. Are we joyful when we are with others? Are we joyful when we are with God? Are we honest with others when our answer to “how are you doing?” is always “great”, “fine”, or even “okay”? Are we honest with God about how we are doing? Do we hold on to the stepped-on tails and rough patches that create deeper division? Are we ready to forgive and extend grace easily? For that is what God always does for us.

The greatest and most loving act of all time is how Jesus’ sacrifice reconciled us to the Father. Maybe during this time leading up to Easter, we can work on those broken or fractured relationships, and ask God to mend them through true reconciliation by way of forgiveness and grace.

Romans 5:10 “For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.

A Damaged Heart

 

3/13/2023

Jeremiah 3:2 “A voice was heard on the desolate heights, weeping and supplications of the children of Israel. For they have perverted their way; they have forgotten the Lord their God.”

Recently, a friend of mine has been posting a lot about "religious trauma" on social media. This person used to go to a college and career faith-based group my husband and I facilitated at our home. She also went to our church at that point in time. She has been in a long-tern relationship, has a lovely home, and now has two adorable little ones of her own. I always was drawn to her for her quirkiness, and she is also a writer…a poet, actually. She was the person that introduced me to one of my favorite TV shows, Doctor Who. I had noticed recently that she had been traveling down a different kind of road that was more secular, mystical, and holistic. I guess I assumed that, because she was attending our church and our group, she was a believer. Of course, no one can honestly know that about another person, but I believed she was. There certainly have been more than a few high-profile leaders that have left the faith over the past several years whose followers would have sworn were strong in the faith. 

So, seeing her posts about potions, crystals, and things of that nature over the past few years, I knew she was going down a different path. What I didn't know is that she actually feels traumatized by her experiences in the church. I am praying that our group was not a part of what led her to feel this way, but I have not yet reached out to ask her. I also have not commented on the couple of posts that I have seen about this subject, because I am taking some time to pray instead of just reacting. 

I have to say, I do feel badly about her sharing these emotions. I hope and pray that she felt the love of Jesus through me and my interactions with her and never felt judgement. Faith and my relationship with Jesus, not religion, has been the single most important part of my life for so long. The truth of Jesus' love and sacrifice for all humanity, the strength and guidance I receive from God's Holy Word, the act of releasing all to Him, the direction of the Holy Spirit, and the freedom that I have found in my relationship with Jesus are the reason that I can even sit here and write these words. God alone led me out of the darkness when no one else could. This is my truth, and it has really nothing to do with organized religion, although I do not shun that part of my faith journey. It is always about the relationship between me and God alone. I have felt His presence in my life and experienced too many things that cannot be explained, and my recovery is one of those things. 

I have known other people that were hurt by organized religion. There are many that have suffered manipulation and abuse, but all these things happen because of our fallen world; they are NEVER of God. So as a person of faith, what is my role in combatting the twisting and perversion of God's word? How can any of us combat the evil that invades the church and help those who have been affected and traumatized? It all feels so overwhelming, and knowing that there are people in pain because the Word of God has been perverted is just so disheartening.

We, of course, cannot fight this pervasive evil alone. The only way we can truly fight the good fight is to speak truth and illuminate the reality of scripture through devotion and prayer. We need to stay watchful for wolves in sheep’s clothing. We need to reach out to those who have been hurt and love others with all we have. Judgement has no place in witnessing to the unbeliever. We must love as Christ loves us. We must try to stop the pain that is occurring inside and outside of the church by people that falsely claim to be followers of Jesus. We must also extend grace, for it has been extended to us. What we all need is a healing of the soul.

 

 

Burdened to Pray

 

3/12/2023

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing.”

I pray. A LOT! There is just too much happening in this world to try processing or carrying, so I pray. There are people I know who are suffering, so I pray. There are people I know who are sick, so I pray. There are people who I see boarding the train of decision-making who are not open to advice or wisdom, so I pray. There are people I know who are waiting for movement in their lives in one direction or another, so I pray. There are fractured and broken relationships all around me, so I pray. There are SO MANY people who do not know the saving grace of Jesus or the peace that can only be found in Him, so I pray.

Ephesians 6:18 “Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.”

Our world needs warriors of faith and persistent prayer. Often times, those that battle on behalf of others stand in the gap of faith. I believe this is to be able to share the Gospel message after the storm has past. It is a mighty blessing to be able to say to another human being, “I am praying for you.” It is almost always received with gratitude. It may even have a bigger impact then you will ever know.

James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

 

Prepare

 3/11/2023

1 Peter 1:13 "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope on the grace to be given you when Jesus is revealed."

I struggle with my mind and with self-control, for the two are intrinsically connected. When you have an overactive mind, whether it is fear-based, creative, organized, or controlling, it is always exhausting. An overactive mind can also defeat self-control. So, when I read this verse last night, I needed to take some time to meditate and pray on it. 

"Prepare your minds for action;" Because I struggle with a fear mind, the actions that come forth are usually protective, compulsive, or ones of avoidance. But it says “prepare”, so how do I do that with racing thoughts? Being still, reading the scriptures, and spending time with Jesus is the only way I know to prime the pump of my brain. Being with Jesus and resting in God’s truth calms both my mind and soul, then I can be ready for what He is calling me to do and not what my mind is usually screaming at me.

“Set your hope on grace…” This is critical. God extends grace to me even when I falter or fail. He always forgives my weaknesses and gives me another chance to serve Him. I have been feeling His grace abundantly in recent days. As I shared a few weeks ago, I am observing Lent for the first time in a long while. I prayed about this and sought guidance. I was led to both abstain from and add certain things to each day. I thought I would struggle greatly, but God has been merciful and has helped me through this time. I could not, nor would I want to, do this in my own strength.

That is the key to all things. The more I submit my everyday life to God, the more I pray for wisdom and clarity, the more my mind feels prepared for action. The Lord has not healed me of the fear mind I struggle with, but He has taught me that, even with it, I can still serve Him. I only need to “lift it up” and trust.

I am, as always, a work in progress.

 

 

Visibly Invisible

 

3/10/2023 

Psalm 33:18 “Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love.”

All my life, I have felt invisible. It is a very delicate emotion for me. Any form of dismissal, no matter how subtle, will send me into a deep sadness. Those kinds of injuries can run deep. I cannot remember a time in my life where I have felt truly seen. My son, who has often felt the same way throughout his own life, calls it being atmosphere. This is not the kind of atmosphere that is cool or mysterious, the kind that people are drawn to; it is more like the invisible atmosphere that is all around us and taken for granted. 

I have learned, sadly, to live with this reality in my life. Many friendships I have poured a lot of time and energy into do not last. As soon as I am out of sight, I am certainly out of mind. This has happened to me over and over again for decades. Thankfully, this is not true for my son, as he has several lifelong friendships. For this, I am so grateful. 

In 2020 I wrote a blog post here every evening, I had a few devoted readers, but only a few. Even people I thought may have read it just to support me didn't. Then I published Blooms over a year ago, and to date I think I have sold 15 copies. Some family members didn't even get one. Sadly, this is true of my author son as well, who now has 4 books published. I remember buying a book that was tangentially related to one of my former students. It was important to her because it was dedicated to her mother who had passed very tragically at a young age. How could I not support that? 

My sensitivity in this area of feeling invisible does not bode well for some of my closest relationships, nor for my mental and emotional well-being. All it takes is several ignored texts or, if face-to-face, not responding to me. Silence = invisibility. If Satan wants to upend me, this is the #1 area that certainly accomplishes the task. It hits the deepest cords of emotion I have and brings out a sense of being unloved because I am unworthy. When this happens, my spiritual armor slips, and sometimes – more than I would like to admit, actually – I lose the day. 

This happens over and over, of course, because I begin to focus horizontally instead of vertically. When I start to believe that all my value is in how others view or treat me, I lose sight of the One who ALWAYS sees and hears me. Always. 

So, how can any of us who put too much importance on others truly seeing or hearing us stay focused on the One who does? How can we focus on Jesus' love above all others? It takes walking with the Risen Savior all day long every day. It takes reading the Bible and spending time talking to Him. It takes trusting Him in all things. It takes leaving your burdens and sorrows at His feet. It takes focusing on the One who will always love you and never let you down, no matter what. It takes yielding to Him as the Lord of your life. He sees you, and He loves you.

By Faith

3/9/2023

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

God has been overwhelming me with His perfect orchestration of events. There have been multiple examples over the past several days that clearly show the hand of God in situations. They involve different people and different situations, but God is clearly present in each circumstance. He is also teaching me many may lessons, and I am so grateful.

Now, I am not saying that all things work out exactly the way we pray for. Sometimes we are kept in the dark for a while. Sometimes we must struggle and persevere. Sometimes we never get to see how God’s answers comes. This was true with the pillars of faith in the Bible. When you read Hebrews 11, you cannot help but notice the repetition of the two words “by faith”. The NIV titles the chapter “Faith in Action” because all the people mentioned lived and walked by faith. They all did miraculous things by faith in the One who sent them to act.

 Right now, as I am writing this, my family and I are standing on faith for a wee member of our family and his parents. We are praying and lifting them up to the Great Physician and our Savior. There are times in life where praying is all any of us can do, and faith is all we have. Unlike those pillars of faith, I cannot act in any other way but to pray. I must be still and silent and trust. I know, however, that prayer in times of worry or struggle is the most profound and important thing any of us can do. God know us. God hears us. God loves us.

Finding Purpose

 

3/8/2023

1 Corinthians 12: 4-7 “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities. But it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.”

When I was a younger woman and a young Christian, I was always seeking purpose. I filled many different roles in church ministry. These were all programs largely for the members and their families, and our church had many of them. Sure, visitors were also welcome, but we did not often get people from outside to come more than a handful of times. The only caveat was the kids’ program on Wednesday night that was sort of like Boy or Girl Scouts. We also experienced the 10% adage, where most of the roles were filled by a small percentage of people. Thankfully, this is not the case in our current church body. My husband and I were always busy, and then we were burnt out. Totally. At our next church we did not enter into ministry at all, because we had nothing left to give.

The issue was that we were not seeking God’s purpose for our lives. We weren’t concerned, and neither was the leadership, if we were the right people to fill a need or had a gift in that area; we just did what needed doing. We finally learned a valuable lesion when we were attending a large Assembly of God church in New Hampshire. They had a meeting for new attendees after church one Sunday. Along with the more informational portion, they also spoke about ministry needs. Hearing this, my husband and I started sinking in our chairs as we were not yet to the point of jumping back in. Then, the youth pastor said something unheard of in our experience. He said that if you do not feel called to a ministry, they would rather not have you volunteer for it. They were not looking for warm bodies, they were looking for people who felt called and passionate about what role they would have in the church. They would rather suspend or cancel a program than have it done outside of God’s leading. As we slowly started coming out of our shock, we asked each other if we actually heard him correctly. Turns out we did.

This church is where we found peace and purpose once again. That one comment let us be more prayerful and mindful about where God was calling us to minister. When we did, the difference was palpable. We were refreshed and filled once again. It was a lesson we carried to other churches we attended wherever we lived.

I believe this is an important lesson to impart to young Christians. A willing heart is a wonderful thing, but a true calling to a ministry is much more impactful. If someone has a heart and gift for leading worship, then that will be a blessing to those who worship along with them. If someone is gifted with young children, then they will bless those little souls and impart lessons to them with joy, patience, kindness, and love. If a person has the gift of hospitality, then they will bring joy to those that they bring meals or open their home to. If someone can easily walk into difficult situations with a listening ear and prayer, then they will be able to bring comfort. The people who can lead may teach Sunday School, become those who guide and supervise the church, or enter the Clergy. If someone has a true burden for the unseen and hurting, they can serve as a missionary oversees, or right in their own neighborhood. We all have different gifts, and if we are obedient to God’s call, the ministry we enter will fill our souls and bring blessing and joy both to our lives and to others.

The only ministry that each of us is called to is the Great Commission, and if we are open and willing, God will use the gifts he has given us to share the Good News of the Gospel with others. 

Taking Time

 

3/7/2023

John 12:35 “So Jesus said to them, ‘For a little while longer the Light is among you. Walk while you have the Light, so that the darkness will not overtake you…’”

It doesn’t always take much to be there for another person. Really, all it takes is your time. Today, I had some things come up at work after I should have been done for the day. These were not work-related tasks, but rather things that just required me to stay a bit longer. One was a lengthy conversation with someone who just needed to catch me up on what was happening in his life and unload a little. The other was just me hitting pause to check in with one of my coworkers when her day went a little sideways. What I know is that God orchestrated these two events one right after the other, so I was still in the building. Sure, I was hungry, as I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, but God’s plan for that time was more important. Now I am not trying to pat myself on the back; I am just trying to be more mindful of others, especially during this Lenten season. I definitely felt that familiar Spirit nudge, for sure. I know better than to ignore it.

In this crazy busy world where many of us travel through life looking down at our phones, pausing to notice someone in need does not always happen. Most people’s hearts are in the right place, but it takes a bit of a slowdown to be in someone’s life, even momentarily. I remember when I was a kid, neighbors chatted over the fence or had visits for a morning coffee together. These were never appointments, they just happened organically. No pressure. Kids knocked on each other’s front doors to ask their friend to come out and play. A group of neighborhood kids would organize all kinds of activities spontaneously with each other. I remember playing kickball or red rover, having coloring contests as we sat on the sidewalk, traveling from one pool to the next to swim in a single day. Nowadays, we must schedule everything for both kids and adults.

I believe the result in this shift is one of stress and often disconnection. Studies show that people feel more isolated now than ever before, even though we have technology that allows us to stay connected. A Facebook message or text, however, can not take the place of being in the same space as another person. People are lonely, and yes, it is incumbent upon each one of us to find ways to lessen that feeling. As believers, though, we are called to reach out to a broken and hurting world. We are called to the great commission.

We need, all of us, to gather together and share a story, a meal, or just a simple conversation. Even though I am an extreme hermit, I am trying to break out of my comfort zone to be in the presence of others, or to make a simple phone call to check in. There is no replacement for seeing someone’s face or even hearing their voice. I imagine how present Jesus must have been when talking to someone. They must have felt like the only person in the world. You can hear this through His words in the Gospels. He is present even now. If the God of the universe can give me His attention with all the people who talk to Him every second of every day, shouldn’t I be able to pause and do that for another?

Be present. Be still. Pause. Give time. 

Reach Out

 

3/6/2023

Hebrews 6:19- 20 “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.”

As I have mentioned before, my son is a writer. He also operates a YouTube channel called Omni Viewer, because he does not review only one kind of genre. This past week, he had something unusual happen in his day that he felt led to share on his channel and attach a message to it. If you want to see the video, you can click here: Reach Out, Don't Give Up - YouTube .

Two things took my breath away about this video. 1. Instead of reviewing a movie, book, or music, he is talking about how we all experience dark times. He puts forth that whether you are the person struggling or a person who sees the struggle, you need to reach out. There is always hope for tomorrow. 2. He boldly speaks of the one Creator who, when you feel all alone, is always there for you. He speaks about being a Christian and Who his hope lies in. To God be the glory!

Now, if you know anything about social media, you understand that stating the latter could bring on a firestorm of unkind or even hateful comments. He has even had some of those just for being anti-censorship and pro-author. Saying he is a follower of the risen Christ could open him up for some nastiness, for sure. This was not an issue for him at all, as he tries to always put forward truth, and in this video, he was burdened for those who have come to the end of their hope. He listened to the Spirit’s leading and had no reservations because the topic is more important than any negative comments he would receive. He ended the video telling his audience that he is there for them, and for any of them who are hurting to reach out.

Did a couple of people say hurtful and unkind things in response? Yes. However, most of the comments were ones of gratitude. People sharing their own dark times or simply saying “thank you”. God blessed his boldness and willingness to obey the call. I am so very pleased that he is a strong, faithful, and bold man of God.

I wonder if I would be so bold to claim Christ for thousands of people to see in this unhospitable environment. Would I heed the call? Do I? Do you?

Acts 28:31 “Proclaiming the kingdom of God and teaching about the Lord Jesus Christ with all boldness and without hindrance.”

The Change

 

3/5/2023

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone be in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new.”

Today, my sister texted me a simple question: “Shouldn’t our motto be’ faith over fear’?” My answer was, “Absolutely”. Now if you know me or have read Blooms before, you know that I have a fear-based anxiety that presents as OCD. I am always battling invasive thoughts, but I also fight them with scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit. Some days, admittedly, the result is better than others.

When I told her I had many things around my home that remind me to put faith over fear, she asked me to show her. So, I took some pictures and sent them her way. She also wanted to see the jewelry I have as those reminders, and I sent some more pictures to her. What struck me is how many objects I have that signify faith. What I am reminded of tonight is the Steven Curtis Chapman song, “The Change”.

Multiple crosses can adorn me every day, but if my life does not show that I am a disciple of Jesus, then what is the point? Certainly, many people (and I am thinking particularly of an 80’s pop star) can wear a cross and then behave in a way that is contradictory to what it represents. Is it a symbol of something deeper or just an accessory?

Am I living a life of faith over fear? Am I living a life of service to others? Am I living a life that bears witness to the saving grace of Jesus? Am I living a life of love because I am loved so abundantly by my Savior? When people see the cross around my neck or on my wrist, or walk into my house and see verses on the walls and crosses in every room, do they see the deep and abiding faith behind them? Can they feel it when they are with me? Do others see the change that Jesus has brought to my life?

 

The Change Lyrics _ Steven Curtis Chapman 1999 - YouTube

A Simple Truth

 

3/4/2023

Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

I would consider my son a Cinephile, or someone who is passionate about movies. His tastes run the gamut from horror and giant monster movies, to sci-fi and comedy, to noir and musicals, to old classics and even documentaries. Today, in honor of the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day, he invited me over to watch the 1968 musical Finian’s Rainbow. It is an altogether silly and fun movie with deep racial overtones. I will not go into a synopsis here, but if you are looking for a latter Fred Astaire outing, this would be one to watch.

So, why am I bringing this movie up? Well, because of the film’s ultra-prejudiced senator character, name Billboard Rawkins, has been trying to basically steal a plot of land that a racially mixed group of people live on through the state officials he has in his pocket. He wants to go back to a more “gentile” time where people “knew their place”. Through an interesting turn of events involving Leprechaun magic, he gets turned into a black man. This causes him to panic and hide in the woods from his cronies. In one scene, while he is walking down a road, he meets a singing group called Passion Pilgrim Gospeliers. The three sharply dressed and very kind men are black. They ask him if he has heard of them and he answers, “I’ve kind of been out of touch with the Gospel recently.”

Even though there are other references to spiritual things and church, this is the most hard-hitting line in the movie. As he is being humbled through his circumstances, he admits that he no longer interacts with scripture. It is clear that is the root of why he has been so hateful and degrading to those that aren’t like him. The moment, and entire scene, took my breath away. At his lowest point, he is shown kindness by men that he would have judged (or worse) before. They actually ask him to join their group as their 4^th singer. They are men of faith, love, and joy, and this is exactly what he needed to turn his thinking and attitude around.

Reading the Gospels, and the Bible in its entirety, is transformative like nothing else on earth. Once you interact with it, if you have an open and willing heart, you cannot deny its truths or teachings. One of the things that it strongly imparts to the reader is that we are to love our neighbor, and that means everyone. No exceptions. Prejudice in any form is unbiblical and not of God. Full Stop!

 

Joy in the Doing

 3/3/2023

1 Peter 4:10 “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”

My muscles are sore, and I am tired today. Moving snow 3 days in a row will do that to you, especially when you are not used to it. Unfortunately, my husband and son are not able to be our usual snow removal team because one had surgery and one has an injury (nothing serious for either). I must admit that these two have spoiled me in this department, as I usually am not required to go out and help. Now - for the next few weeks, anyway – I am a one woman show. It’s a lot of work as we have two of everything to clear, but I am so grateful that I have the strength and ability to do so during this time. Sure, there was a learning curve to operate the snowblower, and yesterday the snow was so wet and heavy that I had to shovel everything, but I managed.

The thing is, I find myself being joyful in this work and not at all grumpy or cranky like I thought I’d be. All 3 days, I have had a different chorus rolling over and over in my mind and found myself in a state of worship. Instead of being a drudgery, it has been quite wonderful. Another storm is on its way tomorrow, and I am not dreading it a bit. This, of course, can only be God’s grace. He has not only protected me from injury, but He has also put a song in my heart and joy in my spirit. The most important and humbling thing of all is that this is allowing my guys to heal without guilt or worry. This blesses me most of all.

Many of us, at one time or another, are called to step far out of our comfort zone to do something for someone we love. I have seen these past few days that doing this with a grateful and joyful heart instead of grumbling and complaining not only blessed others but can also deeply bless us. All it depends on is to trust God and being willing to be used. It is indeed a powerful thing.

Now I am ready to step into more things that make me uncomfortable or scared if I can be a blessing to others. No amount of wealth or possessions could make me feel richer than that.

Mark 10:45 “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Nemesis

 

3/2/2023

Proverbs 17:14 “The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.”

Superhero movies have been popular for a very long time, and as most of us know, Marvel has the most successful franchise of all. These movies pit the good guy – or hero – against the bad guy – or nemesis – and there is a battle until the good guy wins. Sure, it may take some doing, and there may be some injury along the way, but good always triumphs over evil. It is a tale as old as time.

So, what about when you have your own personal nemesis? This is a person who may make life at best uncomfortable for you, and at worst impossible. For whatever reason, there is just an oil-and-water type situation going on, and no matter how hard you shake the bottle to try and blend the two, it just doesn’t work. It is a tough situation that many of us have been in. I know I have.

The thing is, unlike in the movies, there is usually not one person in these situations who is good and one who is evil. I currently have someone in my life who feels like my nemesis, specifically of the “making things uncomfortable” kind. I know that is true in my case. I believe myself and this other person are very well intentioned and faithful people, but we just don’t blend well. Because I am classified as an “amiable” personality, it bothers me when I have one of these situations. Amiables want to live in harmony with everyone, but that’s not always possible. Sometimes we must commit to loving someone and release the fact that we may not mesh well together. We don’t have to be angry or vindictive about the situation, for as believers that is never the way to go. We are called to be loving and graceful.

So, I have decided to give this person space and not worry about how they will or will not connect with me. After all, they are family. God would expect nothing less. 

A Simple Lesson

 3/1/2023

1 Corinthians 16:14 “Let all that you do be in love.”

I love my pup. Okay, most people who have a dog can say the same thing. She is feisty and sweet. She is social, and especially enjoys the company of her doggie friends, of which she has quite a few. She greets them when out on walks and loves when they come to play.

Today she had interactions with two of her buddies, both male. One was almost a little more intimate than she, or the pup’s owner, would have liked (if you follow). She held her boundary with a well-placed growl, clearly not happy. After the quick separation happened, she was back to being all happy and friendly again. Then, she had her other buddy over to play in the yard. When they were roughhousing, he accidentally stepped on her tail. Even from within the house, I could hear that awful pain sound a dog makes. Yet in an instant, they were playing again.

I read online today that a dog’s short-term memory lasts 27 seconds. Boy, was this proven out with our pup today. Both interactions had a moment of discomfort, but she was over the infraction in a blink. No anger or grudge holding. Nope, a dog’s life is too short for that. Above all, most only want to love and be loved. Every member of our family feels the love she has for us when we walk in the door. She just is so excited to see us all and covers our faces with kisses.

There is a lesson there for us all, I think. Forgive quickly and love with all your might. After all, isn’t that what Jesus does for us?

 

Show and Tell

 2/28/2023

 This morning, when my husband and I were in our devotional time together, we talked about how we are supposed to share the redeeming truth of the Gospel with others in the inhospitable climate we are all living in. He is particularly feeling burdened for his coworkers. If a coworker feels uncomfortable with a person sharing their faith, they can claim harassment. Even ignoring that, just claiming to be a Christian in today’s world could lead people to believe you are judgmental and hateful.

We discussed showing our faith before we talk about it at work. It’s like show and tell in school. You bring something interesting for your classmates to see, pass it around, and then you get to tell them about it. So, if we are exhibiting the fruit of the spirit in our lives, others will notice a difference and get interested, and they may open the door to conversation. We can also add items that reflect our faith to our workspace or office, or prominently wear a cross every day. This also may open conversation, or even forge a connection.

When I used to work in a K-8 public school, I wore a cross all the time. I had more than one student come up to me and inquire either why I wore one or if I went to church. I remember this one little boy in kindergarten named Paul who leaned over to me one day and whispered, “Do you go to church, Mrs. Collins?” Sadly, he knew, even at his tender age, that the school environment was not a place to ask that question too loudly. I could, however, answer questions about faith when asked.

In public, on the other hand, we can and should be bolder with sharing our faith. Often if you offer to pray for someone or help them, that can be an opportunity to communicate the truth as well. The Word of God is so transformative, we agreed, that once you begin reading it, its power cannot be ignored. It is often the only path to forgiveness, grace, and peace for many who resist being witnessed to. So, many people have shared that it was reading the Gospel that changed them and brought them to the foot of the cross. That can also be a show and tell moment.

So, as we continue to walk with the Lord and try to reach a hurting world, let us show what a relationship with Jesus looks like, and then tell others that they can find forgiveness and new life if Christ.

A Movement

 2/27/2023

“Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am with them.”

As many of you know, the movie Jesus Revolution came out February 24^th, and it has been getting some heavy press on mainstream media outlets. It is about a movement back in the early 70’s of hippies that were known at the time as “Jesus Freaks”, and how they turned around a dried-up pastor with a dying church. At least that is what I have gleaned from the trailers and interviews I have seen. He went on to found Calvary Chapel Church.  According to Christianity Today, there are more than 1,700 churches in the Calvary Chapel Association.

There are also spiritual revivals happening at several colleges around the US, the first one being Asbury College in Kentucky. Most news outlets tell of people driving hundreds of miles to experience the movement of the Spirit there. Again, these events are being covered by mainstream news outlets regardless of political leanings, although the stories are presented in varying ways.

It is evident to me that the Spirit is moving in New England as well. Just yesterday, my husband and I saw a friend at the grocery store that said the membership of his church is outgrowing the building. I also had another friend tell me, after our return to the body, that the Spirit is moving in our little Baptist church. Quote, “There is a new spirit moving among us and things are starting to happen. God is moving in our midst, and it is exciting to see where this is going.” Exciting indeed. We could feel that exact thing in the air yesterday during the service. There IS something happening, and I am thrilled to be back.

I have been praying for a long time for God’s people to stop being silent, and that God would help us all to be bolder for Him. I truly believe that all we must do is have a willing and open spirit, read God’s Holy Word, pray deeply, worship with others, and unlock our hearts, souls, and minds to be able to identify the doors He is opening for us to minister, in love, to others.

Dear Jesus, let this be the time when your people boldly stand in unity to share the power of the Gospel and the truth of Your grace and redeeming love with this hurting and broken world. Amen.

 

God’s Grace

 2/26/2023

Hebrews 10:25 “Not neglecting to meet together, as in the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

Today, we went back to church after a prolonged Covid hiatus. Part of that hiatus was because of my anxiety, and part of it was for some other reasons that I needed to work out with God. Both areas were a battleground for sure, and the evil one held me captive during my persistent dark winter of the soul. The extra issues were things that bubbled up from my past that I had not really dealt with. True, I “got over” some things, but I never really did heal from some injuries that happened within a former church body. Several, if I am being honest, and the hurt was always the same every time.

Covid was a firestorm for most people, and churches had a particularly difficult time trying to meet people’s needs and hear the concerns of their members. Let’s face it, things got ugly out there, and there didn’t seem to be a consensus on anything. I know many people, like my family, chose to stay home and stream the church service on YouTube. (Thank goodness for technology!) Some people came back as soon as the doors were once again open, some gradually trickled back in, and some never returned. I’m sure some of our church family thought we were in the latter group. No one could fault them for thinking so.

I have been struggling with how, when, and even if, to return to our church. However, among other things God is asking of me during Lent, I felt Him guiding me back. We had been back a couple of times for special occasions, but this time was going to be for good. I will admit that those other times felt awkward and stilted, and afterwards I went through periods of distress. It was just much easier to stay home and watch the service; after all, we were still hearing the message. (I must note here that our pastor is very gifted in this area.) What was lacking, though, was the connection to our church family and worshiping with other believers. The most palpable thing about returning today was the people.

I had not shared with my husband what God had been working out in my spirit until this morning, when I was obviously getting ready to go out. In my weakness I did not want to disappoint him and cave in again. He has been wanting to go back for a long time, but he felt badly leaving behind. Yet there was a different feeling in our house this Sunday morning. It was lighter and more joyful. I was still not sure what would happen, but I prayed to be obedient and have strength.

Turns out, this day really was different from the others. I had not alerted anyone that we were coming, we just went like any normal Sunday pre-Covid. Lo and behold, that is exactly what it felt like. Sure, everyone is now three years older, which mostly showed in the wee ones that we used to teach in Children’s Church. God blessed me with the strength that I knew I needed to be in a crowd of people once again, but what I did not expect was the overwhelming peace I felt. I was able to hug those I had not seen in so long and worshiped fully with the church body. Towards the end of the service, during our praise and worship song time, I fully broke before my precious Savior and church family. It was a beautifully powerful moment, and God sent my dearest Mikayla to give me support and comfort. He knew just who I needed in that moment.

To say that I am feeling humble and blessed this evening as I sit here writing doesn’t seem to cover the depth of that appointment with the Holy Spirit that I had today. The love I experienced from everyone I spoke to, even after such an extended time away, the hugs, or even smiles across the church today, were precious. Oh, the profound gratitude to God I have for freeing me of fear and injury. The overwhelming outpouring of God’s grace is all I will ever need. 

Controversial Idea (NOT)

 

2/25/2023

1 John 4:19 “We love because He first loved us. “

So, I am going to put forward an idea that may shock some of you, but if you are a believer, you will get it right away. I propose that we stop using the words “tolerate” and “accept” to view other people and replace those words simply with “love”. Now, we can’t cancel those words and strike them from our language, as they both are very useful. I can accept a package or a gift. I can accept paperwork or a favor, etc. In my husband’s line of work, tolerances are very important for keeping aircraft flying. It is also an important word for knowing if a person's body can handle a certain drug or procedure. It even has environmental uses. Both of these words are very important, but can we stop directing them at people?

I suggest, and it is actually Biblical, that we replace these words with a simple four letter one: love. Jesus certainly never told us to tolerate or even accept our neighbor, He told us to love them. We are even told in the Bible to love our enemies. So why do we keep using these words that divide us? Isn’t it much better to feel loved than to be just tolerated or acceptable? Heck, getting a B on your report card is acceptable, but it isn’t most people’s ultimate goal.

Most people’s ambition is to love those around them, but loving those we do not agree with is infinitely harder. Yet we are called to do so. John 13:34-35 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this people will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” This verse has the word “love” in it four times. Do you think Jesus was trying to get a point across?

It is true that we often fear what we don’t know or understand, but the Bible tells us not to fear 365 times. Again, I think that a point is trying to get through. 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” Can’t we equate a lot of the divisiveness and hatred that is happening today to fear? Fear of difference, fear of being judged (or worse) is rampant today. Many voices are shouting, especially on social media and media of every kind, and we can all find screaming voices that side with our own thoughts and feelings. Where, I ask, is the love?

1 John 4:8 “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” This verse really hits deep. If we are connected to the Creator and following the teachings of our precious Savior, Jesus, how can we not do anything but love others? After all, He has forgiven and loves me even in my frailty and continuing sin. How, then, can I do any less?

Join me, dear ones, in starting a love revolution. Let us share the love of God with all those we meet. Let us ALWAYS lead with love. 

Praying Through

 2/24/2023

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

For the first time in a long while I am observing the Lenten season. This comes with a commitment towards the things I have omitted from my life and also the things I have added to it. I am finding both equally challenging which surprises me. The first few days I found myself determined and trying to accomplish what I believe God has set before me to do. Big mistake. I was trying to meet these challenges under my own steam instead of lifting them all up to God. Sure I have been praying every day and doing my devotions, but when I begin to hit a roadblock in my forward motion I was driving and not God. Ugh, how long will it take me to learn?

Along with all my do and do nots I need to be searching God all day long every day. I have been experiencing a bit of a desert spiritually or dark winter as it were. It has been like someone tried to cut the power cord that connects me to my Savior and left a bunch of frayed open wires. I don’t know if any of you have ever experienced this, but for me it has been extremely difficult. It’s like the warrior part of my spirit has left the building. Sigh.

When I was recovering from my “dark night of the soul” period, the one thing that I did all day long every day was pray. I talked to God constantly no matter what I was doing or who I was with. I had too, for in only Him did I find refuge and the healing, peace, and strength to overcome. I had walked that road for years and years and, after returning to myself, I became a powerful intercessory prayer warrior. If there was prayer needed, you could bet I would be in my “little chapel” coming before God with praise and petition. Sadly, that Miss Carla wannabe has been missing for a while. It is not that I have not been hearing God’s call for my life, I have just been so very weary.

Lent, I felt God showing me, was the perfect time for a reset. A time I could concentrate on being obedient and prayerful. A time I could focus on His eternal love, sacrifice, and forgiveness. A time to come out of the dark spiritual winter. So today, as I was yet again struggling with my Lenten observances, I knew deep down in my soul that in order to make it through this 40 day period I needed to once again rely 100% on God getting me to the finish line. I need to pray through EVERYTHING in my life just as I did when I was recovering from my illness. I need to, as my sister Barb says, “offer it up”, all of it, to my Lord and Savior. Only then will I once again feel the warmth of being surrendered and fully connected to my Jesus. For it was in my own frailty that I could not persevere and sustain my all day long every day communication. I know that all power, love, and self-control come through His Spirit into me and, hopefully, out to others.

If you are struggling like I am this Lenten season, start having an all day long and open conversation with Jesus. I can promise you; it will make all the difference. 

The Can Opener

 2/23/2023

Matthew 25:35 “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.”

Recently, my son shared a story about something that happened when we lived in New Hampshire. He was bringing our dog out when he saw a shirtless man with no shoes walking down the street. Now I must orient the reader to our town being a very small rural one with only approximately 2000 people. Generally, the only people we ever saw walk up or down the street were our neighbors. This man, however, was not someone he recognized. After our son ascended the stairs of our side deck to let the dog back inside, he noticed this man approaching. Normally, this would have caused a bit of trepidation, but he said he was not concerned at all about this stranger coming into the yard. The man, who was holding a can, asked if he could borrow an opener for it. “Sure” my son said. Then he entered the side door that led directly into the kitchen, came back out with a can opener, handed it to the man, and waited for him to use it. The man opened his can, said thank you, returned the opener, and was back on his way. This happened at least ten years ago while my husband and I were away, and it never occurred to my son to tell us until we were reading the Bible recently. He remembered the interaction because of this verse, Hebrews 13:2 “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.”

The part of his story that really struck me was the peace he felt when this man approached. Of course, we are all suspect of strangers, especially in this current climate we live in. That afternoon, my son just wasn’t uncomfortable. Is it possible that he had entertained an angel that day? One thing is for sure, he did show kindness to a stranger in need. Isn’t that what we are all called to do?

Oh, and one last thing. After our son brought the can opener back in and put it in the sink, he looked out the front window and the man was gone. He didn’t see where the man had come from or where went. He just seemed to have appeared and then, after their brief interaction, disappeared. Angel?

Inhospitable

2/22/2023

Maine can be a very daunting place to live in the wintertime. A few weekends ago, like a lot of the country, Maine had the lowest temperatures it has seen in a generation. With the wind chill it reached -44 degrees. Brrrrr. The news was reporting that frostbite at those temperatures could occur in 5 minutes. I felt so badly for anyone that had to go out, and for all the pups that must do their “business” outdoors. We did bring our little girl out, but she was done and back in record time. Thankfully, that cold snap only lasted two days and then we were back to our regular winter weather.

In Maine, like I’m sure is true in many other parts of the country, there is a tendency to want to hunker down and stay inside until spring. My neighbor, Sandy, always says we never see one another in the winter because we all batten down the hatches and ride it out. A very accurate assessment. This introvert, for one, is okay with that. Why even try to go out when it’s so cold it freezes your nostrils when you breathe? It is easier, and more comfortable, just to stay inside.

This morning, while doing my devotions, I thought of how the world right now is like winter in Maine: very inhospitable. Evil seems to be running rampant and unchecked. You can see it everywhere. Things that, not very long ago, were deemed as sinful or even just inappropriate are being more widely accepted. As long as you are “living your truth”, you should be accepted no matter what. There is a HUGE difference between a single person’s or group’s “truth” and the REAL TRUTH that is in the Word of God. People are turning away from His truth for the insidious lies that are being normalized every day. This is destabilizing us and dividing us as families, a country, and even a world. It is now a place where people are being maligned for speaking truth, even when it is wrapped in love. Our world is, without a doubt, an inhospitable place.

So once again I have to ask: is the world so hostile that we, as believers, refuse to “go forth” because of what may lie on the other side? Do we feel like even 5 minutes in this climate could irreparably harm us? Have the loud voices that speak untruths, evil, and hatred made us retreat from going out into the world to share the Gospel message? So, I must ask myself this question: Am I, as a disciple of Jesus, trusting Him to guide and protect me on such a dangerous journey? Didn’t Paul go boldly into his ministry having nothing but a profound faith and the Holy Spirit to guide him? Didn’t he preach to an inhospitable and dangerous world? Should I do anything less?

We, as a world, are experiencing a bitter winter of evil, anger, hate, and violence. Without the boldness of those willing to go fourth and speak God’s truth, spring may never come.

 

Communication Crazy Cycle

 

1/15/2023

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefor if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. “

I fancy myself to be a good communicator, especially with people I trust. Most of the time, I am amiable with people, and I would rather staple my tongue to the wall than say anything that could cause stress or injury. Most of my communication muscles get a workout with my husband. I know I am not alone in this area. I am blessed to be able to share with him the good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly. Being as I am not one given to anger or shouting, most of my communication is done in a very calm and matter-of-fact way. (I’m sure it can, and often does, seem passive-aggressive.) This way of calmly breaking down an issue or situation is not always easy for my husband to maneuver around, and sadly, he can become somewhat frustrated himself. Ironically, I’m sure like most couples, our difficulties or differences of opinion are most always the same time after time. In the book Love and Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, this propensity to keep bringing up the same issues is referred to as being on the “crazy cycle”. (I would highly recommend that book by the way.) The phrase denotes those conversations about tender areas in a relationship that get rewound and played over and over again. The thing is, just like a movie that gets rewound and replayed, the story never changes. The behaviors continue even with pleas of forgiveness and promises of adjustment, transformation, or resolution. Unless a mindful, deep-down recognition and change takes place, the crazy cycle continues.

This evening, after having just such a conversation with my husband – and full disclosure, it was once again about me having OCD – I felt that familiar ride on the crazy cycle sweep up. We each said our peace, and then finished making dinner. While it was cooking, I did my usual processing of the communication that took place. I am a ruminator. Again, this is part of the crazy cycle for me. Suddenly the Spirit Tap came, and I was duly admonished. Whap! Bang! Boom! I am on a crazy cycle with God all the time; as a matter of fact, I may never be off it. I am forever having the same conversations about my behavior with God, and I am always asking for forgiveness and promising to change. Crazy Cycle! He is very clear and loving with what He expects of me in all my fragility or sinful areas of life. I need look no further than the Bible for this truth. It is SO VERY clear. There is also the guidance and wisdom that He sends through other people. Finally, there are the random “Spirit Taps” where I just feel the Holy Spirit giving correction or redirection through the still small voice.

Getting off the crazy cycle requires change. After all, I am supposed to be a new creature in Christ, and in yielding to Him, I am supposed to die to self. Dying to self is the hardest thing. Period. Yet, it would get me off that crazy cycle in every area of my life. If Jesus was truly first in my life, then every other relationship would pale in comparison. If I was sold out to Him completely, then I would be modeling how to get off the crazy cycle to others instead of continually going for a ride on it myself.

I am as always, a work in progress. 

Extra Ordinary

 

1/13/2023

Romans 6:4 “We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Jesus was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”

I have always felt, ever since he was a young child, that my son was destined to live an extraordinary life. He was bright and talented at a very young age. Always creative. Always thoughtful. Always kind. Always faithful. As an adult, he has certainly taken the “road less traveled” and not gone down the practical path as so many people do. He has always been an inspiration to me, both for his undying faith in God’s plan for his life, and his determination. He himself is extraordinary.

I got to thinking about how we see other people’s lives that way sometimes. The very successful people who have fame, fortune, and wild success certainly seem to live lives that are not mundane or routine. Their lives are glamourous, and they want for nothing…well, nothing that money can buy, at least. I got to thinking today about those people who live lives that most of us only dream of, and then I got that familiar Spirit tap. I, as many others do, was only looking at the worldly treasures that these folks have, and that is indeed short-sighted.

As disciples of Jesus, we have a connection to the God of the universe. We have access to Him all day long, every day without reservation, hesitation, or fear. We find guidance and purpose for our lives through His Holy Word and prayer. He even hears the unutterable cries of our hearts when words don’t come. We can bind the evil one in Jesus’ name away from our lives and loved ones. We can seek both immeasurable power and peace that passes all understanding though Him. We can love others boldly as He does, for His life while on Earth is our model. We have been redeemed and made new in Christ. How much more extraordinary can a life be?

We, unfortunately, are the ones who continue to be small in this world and hide our lights and astonishing relationships with Christ. Every one of us is called to live a life set apart because of grace through His ultimate sacrifice. No amount of fame, money, or power in this world can compare to the extraordinary life found in Christ.