The Trap

3/26/2022

James 3:14-16 "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."

Where lies my focus, there also my heart resides.

My husband and I have never had an abundance of money, nor been able to live a lavish lifestyle. We have been blessed in many other areas and have certainly had all of our needs met. When family and friends post online about multiple extravagant vacations or purchases, I usually just feel glad for them. Sometimes, however, I see or hear about a particular expenditure of money that just wallops me. Such a thing happened this evening. I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw that someone had purchased a very expensive gift for themselves. Just today, our family was pricing out fences for our yard and trying to figure out the most cost-effective way to do it. Then I see this post and, WALLOP! I get smacked right upside the head. Now, is the person's purchase a bad thing? Of course not. What is bad is my initial negative thoughts about it. I was not envious of the item, but I was envious with the ability to be able to buy such an unnecessary thing. Then I spiral into thinking, "Why don't we ever have that kind of money to throw around on extra 'fun' stuff?" 

Now to be fair, my husband bought a used convertible Mustang almost 10 years ago, and I got a small boat for my birthday last year, but both of these purchases - although also unnecessary - wouldn't add up to a quarter of the one I saw online today. Of course, everything is relative, I guess. To me. what was bought today seems like a crazy amount of money to spend, yet our purchases would seem that way to people with less than we have. 

Now is the time for self-reflection. Why do I react so strongly to other people's good fortune? Why do I often feel cheated in this area, and why does it matter to me? As I sit here pondering, I know that it is all just a trap of the evil one. He wants me to be looking outward on what the world tells me is valuable and pull me away from the truth. He wants me to focus horizontally on others and not vertically on my Jesus. He wants to place an importance on greed and a desire for monetary gain inside me instead of my sole desire to be bound to the will of my Savior. He wants my heart to be filled with envy instead of love, grace, and joy. I need to repent with all contrition when such darkness knocks on the door of my soul and I say, "Come on in." I am just so thankful that God's grace is eternally there for me when I fall into sin, and that He does not give up on me when I am not the version of myself that He expects me to be. Lord, please forgive me. 

James 3:17-18 "But the wisdom from above is pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

To God forever be the glory for His mercy and grace.