Weary Struggling Fragile

3/10/2026

Jeremiah 31:25 "For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish."

I have had a rough couple of days, mostly being concerned for others. Being HIGHLY empathetic can be both a blessing and a curse sometimes. This also does not help my struggle with OCD. Any time I am very emotional is exactly when the evil one attacks and my triggers start popping off. This evening, I am trying to ride the wave in (that's the term I use for not giving into the compulsion part of the disease I have). It's not that I don't have any defenses at all, of course, but by the end of the day they are wearing thin.

I have two very important support people in my life who help me though these difficult times. Today, one is traveling and the other did not sleep a wink last night, although the latter did try and helped me not give in or give up. It dawned on me how important it is for all of us to have those people in our lives that are there for the good, the bad, and the ugly. Those people who step into our hard times or mess no matter the cost. To have such people is truly a blessing. 

When my mind can get to a place where it stops racing, even for just a minute, I start thinking about trust. You see, OCD is all about controlling the environment around you, and if that cannot be achieved, there is a tilting. Just like when the pinball game "tilts". 

Via Google: "Pinball machines tilt in order to protect the machine from being abused. The tilt sensor is regulated in such a manner that it will only be triggered when pressure is applied to the machine."

Boy, do I get that. The creator of the game placed a special mechanism inside for protection. A tilt ends the game. My Creator places in me a mechanism that is vastly more protective: the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. My internal connector is there not to stop me but to keep me moving forward. Yet, I still allow myself to be shaken by evil one's attack. He wants nothing more than to see me tilt so I will be ineffective and stuck in fear. It is a constant daily battle for my soul. 

All of us experience some kind of struggle, although it takes different forms and has different triggers. There are people whose fight is very obvious when other people's battle may not be. We ALL, however, need our reliable and loving individuals to help us though those difficult times. We need, above all, to trust in a living and loving Savior. He is my way, my truth, and my life.  

So, though I am currently a weary warrior, I will fragilely lean into prayer and on God. I am so thankful that I can. As I sit here writing, I can hear that still small voice in my spirit saying, "Do you trust Me?" 

Yes, Lord. Forever. For always. And no matter what.