1 Peter 3:15 "But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet so it with gentleness and respect."
I have only physically been to church a few times since the beginning of Covid. Last time was before the surg that started in late fall. Since a symptom of my OCD is avoidance, Covid has seemed like a very valid reason. No one judges me for it at all as many others have made similar choices about not only church services, but many other activities that involve large groups of people. Unfortunately, this new hermit like behavior is taking its toll in many ways. Fear is always just around the corner ready to undo me.
You see, I am not a person who craves group interactions. These times of having to rise to a social occasion wear me out. I find even sometimes find going out to dinner with my family draining. I am happy to stay in the safety of my little house and do my own thing. The problem is, I feel God leading me back out into the world for Him. He has more for me to do, and I feel that deep down in my soul. I believe He has more for every believer to do at this current time in our world. It is time to stop hiding and being comfortable.
So, my little anxiety ridden, hermit self needs to prepare to get back out there. Where will God lead me? I have no idea. Will it be into the same circles as before? Will it be the same church? Will it be the same fellowship? Will it be down a path I never imagined? I cannot say. All I know is that the tug is happening, and it is time for me to prepare for whatever lies ahead. It is the end of my extended excuse.
Going to have to spend more time in prayer seeking and searching.
1 comment:
Dear Lehann, I will be holding you close in prayer as you embark on this journey. I know this will be very difficult but I also believe in my heart it will not only lead you closer to God, but it will also give you the gift of fellowship and camaraderie and even just the casual interaction of others. We were meant to live in community with others and I think that will provide you a balm for your soul as well. Here's praying for you and looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks!!! (OUTDOORS)
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