Romans 8:18 "For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed to us."
We all have a story. We carry around pain from long ago. My husband has some sad and difficult memories from when he was young, and so do I. Our childhoods were very different and our pain from different sources, but that pain runs deep. Usually the difficult - or even joyous, I guess - events we experience when we are young inform who we become in adulthood.
I have often thought about that over the years, processing the "why" of who I am and how I act. I can tie many of my actions and reactions to the horrible bullying I endured at the hands of the older girls in my neighborhood. I understand very clearly that much of my empathetic nature is due to those incidents. That, of course, is just the tip of the iceberg for me, though. My husband largely had learned to stuff down those painful experiences from childhood throughout his adulthood, although they still factor into his actions and reactions. Over the years, these formative memories have come out of him at a glacial pace. We have been married for a long time and I am still learning things about him.
Just this morning, he shared something with me from when he was in first grade. It was both a happy memory and a hard one all at once. During our devotional time, as he spoke of this event, I could see him relive it all over again. It was such a sad moment, yet it uncovered for me why he reacts to certain situations the way he does. Again, this was a revelation to me after many years together. I think we often speak of these events during our time of reading the Bible and prayer, because God is healing him and breaking down the walls of self-protection he has built brick by painful brick. God is also teaching me how to better respond to certain reactions, or in my husband's case, non-reactions. He is healing and I am gaining clarity. It is so true that God never gives up on us, and we are both so very grateful.
As always, my husband and I are works in progress.
We are all subjected to our past hurts and to relive them when they arise. But the one thing that you and Randy both have now is a deep love for each other and the Lord. I hope that those feelings from your past and reduced when you think just how much God loves you both.
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