Genuine?

3/31/2022

James 1:8 "He is a double minded man, unstable in all his ways."

Two days ago, I had a difficult phone conversation at work. Now, the person on the other end is not connected to our organization. He is someone who made a cold call to sell us a picture book and memoir about his life. He was concerned about what happened with his payment for said books, which was quite small, because it had been declined by our company card. He could have, like many people would, began the conversation rationally by asking if a mistake had been made, but he was at level 10 before I even answered the phone. Of course, my boss rectified the issue right away. What followed was an angry email, and over the course of the past few days, there have been several more.

The interesting thing is that this individual is also a motivational speaker. His topic or theme is kindness and helping others. This is expressed throughout the picture book and in a quote on the memoir's cover. I will not go into the details of why he called here, but suffice it to say, we honored his request. 

After the call, I was curious about him, so I Googled him. His website is full images of many smiling people young and old with him in the center. It looks like he does a lot of good work and has helped many people. So, why did I encounter an aggressively unkind individual who, after ten minutes of frantic talking at me, angrily hung up on me? Why did his website and both books stand in stark contrast to the person who spoke to me, or rather, who spoke AT me? I let it eat at me for just a bit, and I tried to put the whole picture together, but I couldn't. The smiling man in the pictures could not possibly be the same man I spoke to. I chalked it up to false advertising. 

Then I remembered the end of the movie I recommended several blogs ago, This Land is Mine. I thought of the speech about men having two sides to them, one people see and one they may not. This must be true of the man on the phone. I wondered, is it true of me also?

I do have personal things that I may not share with people, but I feel like I am called to be a person of authenticity by my faith. Jesus wants me to treat everyone the same and lead with kindness, mercy, and love just as He did - and does. This is not based on circumstances or whether I feel I have the right to be terse or nasty to someone, because I am an ambassador of the Gospel. If I talk one way yet act another, I am nothing but a hypocrite. Do I fail sometimes? Absolutely, but I am always striving to be submissive and obedient to God. If I claim Christ as my Savior, I need to be different, an alien in this world. I cannot serve two masters, myself and God, I must only serve the Lord. I pray that when I have interactions with others, they are worthy of my claim of faith even through my human frailty and brokenness. 

James 4:8 "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded."

A Different Normal

3/30/3033

John 15:12 "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."

I have missed seeing people's faces. Being masked for over two years had had an affect on everyone, I think. Just today at work, one of our Board Members came in and talked about how difficult it has been not being able to read peoples faces while in conversation. I have to say that I agree with her. That however is beginning to change. More and more people are dropping the masks. Almost no one in the grocery store is wearing a mask anymore. I have seen more than one person rip their masks off in joy and celebrating. This is a feeling that most of us have shared or will share at some point. 

I think at this period in time we need to be even more patient with one another. Some people are more than ready to get beck to normal, and other people are not. The latter may still be wearing their masks and not going out to restaurants or other crowded places. They may still be turning down invitations to dinner at your home or mine. They just may not be ready. Conversely, those people need to be understanding of those that are ready to start jumping back into a more normal existence. Judgement on either said will only continue the division that was brought about by a common enemy. 

During this time, let's all be gentle with one another and extend grace, understanding, and love. 

Inspired Words

            flowers

3/29/2022

Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him." 

I got to spend the evening with a dear friend who enjoys deep dives into scripture and spiritual things. We used to have these kinds of discussions pre-Covid. The conversations are often raw and honest, and I am always exhausted, encouraged, challenged, and joyous afterward. This evening, she came with an exercise she had done regarding the Fruit of the Spirit. She looked up verses to support each spiritual attribute and summarized those into one line each. I told her I was going to use one that she took from Psalms 26:3 "For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness." (ESV) My friend synthesized that verse into, "Faithfulness is a space to exist in." Yes and Amen!!! Truly inspired. Those seven words will now become my mantra, for my desire is to exist fully in faith of my Savior. I know this will require me to die to self all day, every day. A wonderful goal, I believe, although a daunting one for certain. The reward for existing in faith is drawing closer to my Jesus. 

I'll say it one again to let the power of the words wash over you as it does me. "Faithfulness is a space to exist in."

The Smack Head Round the World

3/28/2022

Ephesians 1:7 "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of grace."

So, unless you are ignoring the news or living in a cave, you know what happened at the Oscars last night. Will Smith, the amiable talented actor, hit comedian Chris Rock for making a joke at his wife's expense. This was shortly before he became only the fifth African-American man to win in the Best Actor category. Only four others have won in that category in the past 94 years. This entire situation was an unfortunate one, as it overshadowed Smith's win. as well as the other wins, completely. It saddens and confuses me, because I always felt like he was one of the good guys in that industry. 

He very tearfully gave an acceptance speech where he talked about being called to protect people. He also shared what Denzel Washington said directly after the incident: "At your highest moment, be careful, that's when the devil comes for you." Wow! I thought about those words and how there is so much truth in them. So many times when people of God reach a professional apex, they fall and fall hard. Sometimes it is through their own doing, and sometimes it is though other's doing, but the destroyer is behind it all. 

Smith said he wants to "be a vessel for love." This, of course, rang hollow after what he had done just an hour before, but can any of us truly say that is not how he truly feels? Can any of us say that we have not acted out in anger in our lives at all?  Even if we do not physically respond, we may respond with words and judgments that cut just as deep. John 8:7 "...Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." These were the words of Jesus. Is Smith worthy of redemption and forgiveness? If your answer is no, my next question is: are any of us? Jesus came to earth as a living sacrifice for exactly that, and no one is beyond redemption even if in our humanity we cannot quiet understand that truth. Romans 3:23-24, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption the is in Christ Jesus." 

If we seek forgiveness, we should be able to also extend it to others. 

And A Child Will Lead Them

 2/27/2021

Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."'

My sister-in-law and brother are blessed to be able to spend time with their adorable little niece. They often bring me into her visits by sending me pictures and videos. To say that this little girl is cute and bright would be a colossal understatement. My brother's family just dotes on her and loves spending time with her whenever they can. Even though I am hundreds of miles away, they make me feel as if I am part of the action. 

Last night, they had a sleepover with this little angel. My sister-in-law sent a video of them reading a picture book about the first Easter. Her niece started talking about the "bad men" that hurt Jesus. She went on to kiss Jesus' boo-boos and asking to put a band aid on Him in the book. Oh, my heart. This little girl felt so bad that people hurt Jesus. Today, I got a video after they had gotten back from church. She was once again looking at the book, talking about Jesus dying and going to "Kevin" (Heaven). Can you even? My heart was melting all over the floor. 

It got me thinking about how bogged down I sometimes get by challenging question posed to me asking about the truth of the Bible and faith; especially with everything that is going on in the world. After seeing these adorable videos, I got to thinking about how simple faith actually is. You do not need an advanced degree in theology to understand the power of Calvary and the overwhelming magnificence of the Resurrection. I believe this is the way it is meant to be. Even as small children, we get exited about getting a gift and understand how to accept it. Accepting the greatest gift ever given, salvation through Jesus' sacrifice for the sins of the word and glorious ascension into Heaven, is done through a simple act of faith. Jesus sacrifice is the most profound and loving act ever done in history, and is a gift freely given to all who repent and yield to Him. It is the greatest gift ever given to a world who never deserved it.

Luke 18:17 "Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."

The Trap

3/26/2022

James 3:14-16 "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."

Where lies my focus, there also my heart resides.

My husband and I have never had an abundance of money, nor been able to live a lavish lifestyle. We have been blessed in many other areas and have certainly had all of our needs met. When family and friends post online about multiple extravagant vacations or purchases, I usually just feel glad for them. Sometimes, however, I see or hear about a particular expenditure of money that just wallops me. Such a thing happened this evening. I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw that someone had purchased a very expensive gift for themselves. Just today, our family was pricing out fences for our yard and trying to figure out the most cost-effective way to do it. Then I see this post and, WALLOP! I get smacked right upside the head. Now, is the person's purchase a bad thing? Of course not. What is bad is my initial negative thoughts about it. I was not envious of the item, but I was envious with the ability to be able to buy such an unnecessary thing. Then I spiral into thinking, "Why don't we ever have that kind of money to throw around on extra 'fun' stuff?" 

Now to be fair, my husband bought a used convertible Mustang almost 10 years ago, and I got a small boat for my birthday last year, but both of these purchases - although also unnecessary - wouldn't add up to a quarter of the one I saw online today. Of course, everything is relative, I guess. To me. what was bought today seems like a crazy amount of money to spend, yet our purchases would seem that way to people with less than we have. 

Now is the time for self-reflection. Why do I react so strongly to other people's good fortune? Why do I often feel cheated in this area, and why does it matter to me? As I sit here pondering, I know that it is all just a trap of the evil one. He wants me to be looking outward on what the world tells me is valuable and pull me away from the truth. He wants me to focus horizontally on others and not vertically on my Jesus. He wants to place an importance on greed and a desire for monetary gain inside me instead of my sole desire to be bound to the will of my Savior. He wants my heart to be filled with envy instead of love, grace, and joy. I need to repent with all contrition when such darkness knocks on the door of my soul and I say, "Come on in." I am just so thankful that God's grace is eternally there for me when I fall into sin, and that He does not give up on me when I am not the version of myself that He expects me to be. Lord, please forgive me. 

James 3:17-18 "But the wisdom from above is pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

To God forever be the glory for His mercy and grace. 

Stonger than Steel

2/25/2022

1 Corinthians 6:11 "And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." 

Ten years ago on Valentine's Day, my husband gave me a stainless steel cross bracelet. During this time, I was working towards recovery from my illness. It was a very loving gift, and a symbol of strength both with the image and the material it was made from. I have not taken it off since he fastened it to my wrist. Just like my wedding band is an outward symbol of my love, fidelity, and devotion to my husband, this bracelet has become an outward symbol of my love, fidelity, and devotion to Jesus. Also like my wedding band, it has become a part of me. 

I have gifted the same bracelet to several people in my life until I could no longer find them. I wanted others to have an item that not only was a cross, as there are many pieces of jewelry you can find with that symbol of faith, but because it is made out of  steel. Steel is an alloy that is stronger than iron (Sciencing.com). This is compelling for me because the bond that I have through grace with Jesus is the absolute strongest (most preeminent) bond there is. It is a bond stronger than steel that nothing can break, and that is the most powerful gift of all.

Romans 5:8 "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Strong Enough?

3/24/2022

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

My son and I watched a move called This Land is Mine last night. It is a black-and-white film made in 1943, and stars Charles Laughton. Now, movies about the German occupation of Europe during WWII are usually very intense, but this was a remarkably quiet move. It is about a timid school teacher (Laughton) who finds both bravery and his voice. To say that Laughton's final speeches are powerful is putting it mildly. I was so captivated by his words I could hardly breath. At one point, my son turned to me and said, "These words could be spoken today." He was thoroughly correct on that point. Maybe that is why this film moved me so. 

Professor Lory, Luaghton's character, speaks of men - which I translated to people- having two sides to them; one they show to others, and one they don't. It also could be one that they themselves recognize and one that they discover to be true. I agree with this wholeheartedly. I have two people living inside of me; one boldly goes forth in faith, and the other gets rocked by fear. I know how paradoxical this sounds, but it is true. The question is: when I am called to bravery, will I be able to stay the course? 

I pray the answer to that question is yes, but it can only happen if I am accessing my source of strength. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me," We all, every one of us, may be called to be strong in this current time we live in. That has actually already begun for believers as our world continues to accept all forms of oppression, tyranny, and sin. Will we each stand up bravely for the Gospel of Christ and God's Holy Word, or will we stay silent to save our image, or even our very lives? It is a question I believe every disciple of Jesus needs to ask themselves at such a time as this.

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."

Unmasked

3'23/2022

Psalm 50:15 "And call upon me in the day of trouble, I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."

Masks are coming off. I know this has been happening everywhere over the past few months, but today it happened where I work. As a person living with OCD, this particular phase of the pandemic has been difficult. I have been growing more accustomed to people being unmasked in public. I can now even visit with some friends that have been vaccinated or have already had Covid. Very slowly and incrementally, I have allowed myself to think about normal life again...well, as normal as my life can be. Today, when we were told of the policy change at work, I thought I would be ready. I wasn't.

When you have OCD, you tend to structure and strategize your world in a way that helps you maneuver stressful situations. Masking was a very tactile way to prevent infection, according to most authorities, anyway. It became like a shield of sorts. As long as I and others around me were masked, I had a certain level of comfort. When those strategies start to crumble or need to be modified on the fly, it causes something I call "hot brain". It is where my brain is so overwhelmed with anxiety and over-processing that it becomes very difficult to focus on anything else. It is thoroughly exhausting, and it shows all over me. I can truly become battle-weary in a very short amount of time. 

Ironically, I started my day by reminding a friend to "go vertical" and keep lifting the difficult things in her life up to our great Councilor and Comforter. Shortly thereafter, I needed to do that myself. Unfortunately, the hot brain had already begun. It is at these times, I have learned, that I need to extract myself from a stressful situation if I am able to. Often times, I must find a safe, quiet place to rest and regain my balance while all along being in prayer. I will admit, I have cried more than once today, but that is okay because Jesus hears my unutterable prayer even through my tears. It is at these times that I am truly unmasked. 

So, during this difficult time in our world, remember: He is always there, even when we struggle and cannot articulate a prayer. It is at these times that we can just call Jesus, and let our hearts do the rest. 

Around the Table

3/22/2022

Luke 21:33 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away."

I live with two excellent cooks. Right now, as I write, they are in the kitchen whipping up a delicious pasta dish with salad and garlic bread. Last night, my hubby made hamburgers that were so good they would rival the best restaurant you can name. The thing about these two chefs is that they both actually enjoy cooking. This both blesses and confuses me. You see, I am not a joyful cook at all. I will cook periodically by following a recipe, but it is definitely not a gift of mine. Oddly enough, however, I do love watching cooking shows. 

I do know that cooking for people is a love language, too. Sharing your home and a meal with others is what brings people together. It allows for not just casual conversation, but deeper connection. I have been a part of these special times often. Most of the time, if I am being honest, it is our family doing the hosting. This changed for us when we moved to Maine. A dear lovely friend, who is the epitome of a gifted graceful host, enveloped our family into her world of loving others through wonderful food and her warmhearted environment. She not only welcomed us in, but kept doing it over and over again. The blessing that this brought to our lives (pre-Covid) was rare and deeply encouraging to our souls. We are longing to have these gatherings once again with those who are dear to us. 

As Holy Week approaches, I am reminded of another meal shared around a table. This was also a time of intimate connection on a level that I cannot truly comprehend. The men sitting there had traveled together and had many meals with one another, but this meal was different, for it would be the last one they would share. One of them, the one they called teacher and Lord, was letting them know that their time together was growing short. Soon, He would fulfill His ultimate purpose, and they could not join Him in this part of His earthly journey. At this meal, He talked of what they could do as a remembrance of Him and told of His betrayer. Luke 22:19-22 "And He took the bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, 'This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.'And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, 'This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood. But behold, the hand of him who betrays me is with me on the table. For the Son of Man goes as it has been determined, but woe to that man by whom he is betrayed.'"

Around this table in an upper room, these men shared a meal and listened to their teacher. Can you imagine the love that must have been there that evening, while sitting at a table over a meal listening to Jesus? Brings me both tears and chills. They, of course, still did not yet fully understand the depth and breadth of what His words actually meant. It wouldn't be long, however, before they did. The events that followed not only changed their lives, but the world for the rest of time.

The Call

3/21/2022

Hebrews 10:24-25 "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

I started my Monday by talking to a dear friend, and it was just wonderful. Usually, my mornings are very routine and uneventful...not that I am complaining about that. Today, however, I got an early morning text asking me if I had time to chat. Of course, my mind always goes to concern when I hear from someone at unusual times of the day, but there was no pressing matter occurring; she just wanted to talk.  So, we chatted as I took my morning walk with my pup, and it was just wonderful and uplifting. A very blessed way to start the day. She followed up the conversation with a text and and a verse. Proverbs 27:9 "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice." Oh my heart. ❤

She took the initiative to reach out, even though it was early in the morning. I just find that so inspiring. She listened to that "Spirit tap", and I am the richer for it. I oftentimes resort to texting people instead of calling them, but I am definitely loosing something in doing that. Just hearing the voice of someone we care about can bring comfort, even when we do not realize that we needed it. This is the way we were meant to communicate and connect with one another; if you cannot be there in person, at least call. I need to revert back to that type of behavior. 

This is also reminding me of the Christmas gifts my bother and sister-in-law bought for the family this year. We do not usually exchange gifts, but they sent us Portals, which are basically video phones. Now we can all not just hear each other, but also see each other. Such a beautifully thoughtful gift indeed. Now we can all chat with each other and see each other at the same time. There is no substitute for being there in person, but this makes the distance a bit easier. 

We do need each other. God created us this way. Sometimes we try to go it alone, but  we do not need to. God has given us others for the journey as helpmates and encouragers. I know that I, for one, am going to cherish those people God has placed in my life, and act to nourish those relationships by being more present and reaching out when God calls me to do so. 

Night Battle

 2/20/2022

Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus,"

Did you ever have a restless night because disquieting dreams and concerns kept jarring you awake? That is exactly what has happened to me over the past few hours. Every time I close my eyes there is nothing but fear pouring forth from my subconscious and the battle ensues. Even as I was finishing that last sentence, my computer that was fully charged just turned off. The evil one is pushing hard against me tonight, and trying terrorize me. I can feel his presence but he will not prevail! I am going to go into warrior prayer mode, but before I do, I want to encourage you all to do the same when you encounter the battle. Whether it is in the middle of the night or during the day, stop whatever you are doing, grab your Bible, and pray. For me, in this moment, I can give into fear and the evil ones schemes, or I can call on the name of Jesus and spend precious time with Him. I choose Jesus. 

May the peace of our Savior be with you all. 

Whisper

3/19/2022

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding."

Lately, I have been wanting to hear loudly from God. As I have shared over the past few days, I am praying for so many people in so many different directions. The prayers are all about very serious life issues. I pray and pray, but there is no visible change yet. Just as I start to get weary, I hear that still small voice say, "Do you trust Me?" "Yes Lord, always," is my answer.

The other day, listening to K-Love radio while driving home from work, I heard one of the hosts say that a whisper can only be heard when someone is very close to us. They went on to say that it is the same way with God; He only need whisper because He is always close to us. This made me smile, comforted my soul, and made me more grateful for the still small voice. I know God is always moving by blessing, teaching, and correcting us. One of the lessons He is still trying to teach me is patience is waiting on His answers. I know He hears my every prayer, even if I do not yet see the results of them. He is always closer than anyone, asking me to trust Him in all things. 

As always, I am a work in progress. 

Turn Around

3/18/2022 

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."

Today was a 63 degree gloriously sunny day. Just the change in the weather bolstered my spirits, and I was feeling happy and energized. This is a complete 180 from how I have felt for the past several days. To make the day even more amazing, my husband, who has been working crazy long hours for the past few months, surprised me by coming home at 3:00. This, of course, just added to my joyous disposition. We were able to take the pup for a nice long walk and go to the park on the river by our home. We also drank our afternoon tea while sitting on the front porch. (Anyone who has met me knows that porch sitting is one of my favorite activities.) Yes, it was a very good day.

Now I know I have been a little down the past week. I have written about feeling frustrated and alone, but all it took was one glorious day to help me gain back hope. Spring, after all, brings with it hope in every budding flower and tree, and in every green blade of grass that begins to peek through the soil. The most important thing about spring, however, is that we celebrate Holy Week, which is the single most hope inducing time of all. We, as Christians, should celebrate this most amazing gift every day of our lives, because through Jesus' death and resurrection we are forgiven and free. We know what it means to journey through this life with our Savior. We know that we are God's beloved children. We know the truth of the Bible and how it is a blueprint for life. Sometimes I lose sight of hope, but I know that I am saved though grace. What else will I ever need to keep my hope alive?  

I am, as always, a work in progress.

Protection Prayer

3/17/2022

Two years ago, on this day I posted St. Patrick's Breastplate Prayer as part of that day's blog. Well, I actually only posted part of it. As I looked for it today again online, I was reminded that it is far longer than most of us know. It is a prayer for protection. In the uncertainty of this current time, I thought it would be appropriate to share it in its entirety and encourage all of you to pray the words as a protection over our world. I know this is something I will be doing. God bless you all. 

I arise today 
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
of the Creator of creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with His baptism,
Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial,
Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension,
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In the obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In the prayers of patriarchs,
In the predictions of prophets,
In the preaching of apostles,
In the faith of confessors,
In the innocence of holy virgins,
In the deeds of righteous men.

I arise today, through
The strength of heaven,
The light of the sun,
The radiance of the moon,
The splendor of fire,
The speed of lightning,
The swiftness of wind,
The depth of the sea,
The stability of the earth,
The firmness of rock.

I arise today, through
God's strength to pilot me,
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptation of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
afar and near.

I summon today
All these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel and merciless power
that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul;
Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.

Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
of the Creator of creation.

Alone. Yet not Alone

 3/15/2022

Deuteronomy 31:8 "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

If I have to be honest, I often feel like I am walking through life alone. Yes, I have people all around me, and I am very grateful for that. I just feel like...well, I guess like I'm an alien. Maybe my illness keeps me at arms length from people. Maybe it is just the way I am meant to traverse life. If I had to name someone in this world that communicates most like me, it would be my son. I know, apple - tree. He was my cheerleader when I was recovering, he holds me accountable for things I need help with, and he knows just how to hit me with truth or wisdom bombs. He is such a blessing from God. 

Even my son, however, cannot help me when I feel lost. Only God can do that. Jesus is the only one Who truly hears the cries of my heat. Lately, my heart has been crying out to Him a lot. As I have shared the past few days, I am experiencing some teetering moments because of this overwhelmingly helpless feeling that has fallen over me. It feels as if I am adrift without a sail, oar, or rudder to steer by. 

Two passages in scripture come to mind, and both are very visual. One is when Jesus literally calms the storm. This miracle is recorded in three of the Gospels. Matthew 8:23-27: "Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, 'Lord. save us! We're going to drown!' He replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked. 'What kind of man is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him.'" The two other accounts are in Mark 4:35-41 and Luke 8:22-25

There is another part of scripture in Acts 27: 27-44, where Paul is traveling by boat on yet another journey, He is still a prisoner and headed to Rome to stand trial before Caesar. A storm that lasted for 14 days was battering the ship that Paul, other prisoners, and Roman soldiers were on. They were afraid and thought they were going to die. Paul told them that they all had to weather the storm on the ship together, and if anyone tried to flee in the lifeboats they would surly die. He knew this because an Angel of the Lord told him. They listened and all made it to shore safely. 

In one scenario, Jesus was not at all moved by the violent rocking or the waves crashing over the boat. All he needed to do was speak and the storm calmed. The disciples were amazed. In the second scenario, non-believers listened to Paul, even though he was a prisoner ready to stand trial for blasphemy. Jesus spoke with authority as God, and Paul spoke with authority as a messenger of God. God saw all those who were afraid through the storm, and He will see me through the storm I am experiencing as well. I do not want to be one of little faith even in my weariness and fear; for I know my Savior will lead me through the storm. 

Expectations

3/14/2022

Ephesians 6:12 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

I very rarely live up to people's expectations. Many others could probably say the same thing. Maybe having expectations on someone else just sets us up for disappointment. Often times, others do not mean to let us down, but life may get in the way. After all, everyone is carrying something, and they may not broadcast it to the world. I know that is true for me. Some days the continuous battle is so tiring that I want to curl up and retreat, especially when there is nothing I can do about any situation. 

I think expectation also seep into my relationship with God. If I pray, I count on getting an answer. Often times I am impatient in my anticipation. I have been praying for a few people in my life for a long time now. A few of these are people close to me, and they have been struggling for a very long time in different areas. I pray and I pray, but not a lot of answers are happening. Do you ever feel like your prayers are hitting an invisible metaphysical ceiling? I sure do. I never question God, but I do question if I am faithful enough in my prayers, DO I have faith as small as a mustard seed that God can and will cause change in the lives of the people I love. Most days I pray warrior prayers over people. but some days all I can do is cry out to God with a weary soul. Today is another one of those weary days. 

I never question God, or His plan; well at least not anymore. I know He does work all things together for good, even when the process is difficult to see. Faith, hope, and trust In Jesus are there even when I am at my weakest. Sometimes, however, my outward disposition does not reflect this. I become very quiet or weepy, and this is very obvious to those closest to me. Do they question the strength of my faith? I wonder sometimes if they do; for I never want these times to affect my testimony. If anything, I want to show others that Jesus is there holding my hand, even when I have a difficult time releasing others and their struggles to Him. He knows what causes my, and your, burdened and weary hearts, and will never leave us or forsake us in our weary brokenness. 

Isaiah 40:29 "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."

Battle Weary

3/14/2022

John 16:33 "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world."

Some days it feels like I don't do anything right. I know everyone has days like this. It seems when things begin to go astray in my day is when the evil one just keeps pushing button after button. Some days my armor is firmly secure and I battle with a warriors spirit. Today is not one of those says. As I sit here, I have tears streaming down my face, and all I can think to pray is help me Jesus and then please forgive me. Of course, if I put my difficult day in perspective to what is happening globally, I am ashamed of myself. My battle is not as difficult as what so many other people are going through right now. 

So, what to do? I have prayed silently and boldly out loud. throughout the day. I have pushed through and kept going, mostly under my own steam, Now, at the end of my day sitting here quietly, I am compelled to be still and silent, count my many blessings and ask God to wrap me, and all those that are struggling, in His peace. 

Isaiah 26:3 "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Our Help

 

3/13/2022

Our world is in turmoil, our nation is in turmoil, and I know many individuals that are also in personal turmoil. I am praying for all, but I feel as if there is little else I can do other than point to the Source of strength. I offer this Psalm as a reminder that the Creator of the universe is, and always has been, in control. He is our refuge and our fortress. May His peace and strength be with you all.

 

Psalm 46
 “God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]
 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.
 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

Best Intensions

2/9/2022

Proverbs 13:10 "By insolence comes nothing but strife,but with those who take advice is wisdom."

I know that when I give people council or advice, I always do it with the best intentions. The entire reason for speaking to a person about anything they may be going through in life is to offer a listening ear or assistance. Perhaps I have been through a similar situation that I can talk about. Maybe I have read (or written) a book that may help as well. 

Most of the time, when I give council, I do so because I am asked to enter into a situation. Sometimes, however, I inject myself into an issue or problem that I really have no business being in; this mainly happens with those closest to me. The thing is, most of my unsolicited advice is not usually received very well. Maybe I do not know the full story that is unfolding, or maybe it is much too personal. If someone gets upset with me for butting in where I am not wanted, then I feel injured because I was just trying to help. 

Well, sometimes the shoe is on the other foot, and I have an individual reach out to me with something they think I need to do or hear. As I am generally a very private person, I rarely ever seek help from anyone, even those closest to me. So, when out of the blue someone tries to council me, I do not always receive it well either. Several weeks ago, someone in my life did this concerning my continuing battle with OCD. This conversation happened through texts, and I felt confused and a lit ambushed. I was asking a lot of questions (which is part of how OCD presents in me) but this just frustrated the person who reached out. Our conversation came to an abrupt halt, and left me wanting clarification. 

I have been thinking about this interaction a lot in recent days, and I am looking at it much differently than I did initially. I now believe this person was encouraging me to put my full faith in Jesus, because He can fully heal me of OCD. At first I was sort of hurt, and felt like they were telling me that my faith was lacking and that is why I still battle. However, now I believe that their council was bold, Spirit led, and done in love. I may not have asked for advice, but I should not have bristled against it. Often times, God speaks to us through others with words of confirmation, encouragement, or correction (even when we are not actively seeking those things.) I believe now that this message was all three. I DO need to have complete faith that I can be fully healed, and I am grateful that this dear person in my life was brave enough to encourage me pray to that end. They did have the best intentions. Will God heal me? Maybe or maybe not, but I should never lose faith that He can. 

James 5:15 "And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord with raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven."

Truth in Love

 3/11/2022

Proverbs 12:22 "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight."

I am someone who values truth. If someone lies to me or even omits something that I should know, it affects me deeply. I do not get angry I get injured. Lying is something that I just cannot abide by. I know many people, including believers, who think nothing of lying. I think it is just accepted as a natural behavior in today's world. Why do people lie? Most of the time, I believe, it is for self-protection. A focus on self often leads to sin, and lying is a sin. Unfortunately, it is one that can be subtle and insidious. 

So, I consider myself a truth speaker and seeker. John 8:32 "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." This freedom comes from knowing Jesus, and in Him alone we are free. John 1416 "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"

The Bible is where we find the words of truth; for God's Word is truth. John 17:17 "Sanctify them in truth, your word is truth." Truth is a part of our spiritual armor. Ephesians 6:14 "Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness." 

Truth also factors into how we should love one another. 1 John 3:18 "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist one its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth."

We can be honest always, and we are called to be by speaking and wrapping the truth of God's Word in love towards everyone. Ephesians 4:15 "Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ." 

So, let us all strive to speak truth in love out of submission and reverence to our Savior. Psalm 86:11 "Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name."

Disarming Love

3/10/2022

1 Corinthians 16:14 "Let all that you do be done in love."

Late last evening, I was watching a Christian show called Life. Two women were talking about how love is disarming. This is, of course, true. Every time we offer love, even in very difficult or highly emotional situations, love changes the mood, and often the outcome. As I was meditating on this today, I realized how easy it is for me to love someone I know, but maybe less so with a stranger. Jesus told us to love not only our neighbors, but also our enemies. Then, hold onto your hats, it came to me that Putin needs love: specifically, he needs the love of Jesus reflected in others. Now, would he accept that love? I do not know, but has it ever been given? Then I started thinking about other people in my own government that frustrate me, people who I tend to judge and not love. Shame on me. Will I ever be in the company of these people? Probably not. Do I pray for them? Sometimes. Do I pray for them earnestly, or is it just a basic "be with all the leaders of the world God" kind? Yes, that latter one is how I often approach that kind of prayer. So, what would happen if we all, every believer, devoted time to pray ardently for Putin, Biden, Trudeau, Jinping, Jong-un, etc.to come to Jesus? Impossible, you may say, but our God is the God of possible. Matthew 19:26 "Jesus looked at them and said. 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"

As God is the author of love, and Jesus Himself put it forth as greater than faith or hope, I think that it is intended to be our ultimate focus regarding others. We often lead with kindness yes, but do we honestly lead with love? Jesus is certainly disarming in many ways throughout the Bible; He loved and forgave sinners, charging them to "sin no more." Did the "righteous" understand this amazing love that Jesus exhibited to others? Probably not. 

In Acts 26:28-29 Paul is defending himself about the accusations that he is blaspheming God by teaching about Jesus. He did this every time he was arrested. Instead of becoming angry and aggressive, he shows disarming love. "Then Agrippa said, 'Do you think that in such a short time you can persuade me to be a Christian?' Paul replied, 'Short time or long - I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.'" Paul's soul purpose was to declare Jesus as Savior and Lord, even to those who persecuted him, and there were many. 

 Does it ever make sense to love someone that has hurt you or others? No, but it is what we are called to do. Sharing the love of Jesus and the Gospel message may be the only way to that person's true lasting repentance and peace.  Doesn't everyone deserve that most amazing of gifts? Pause here if you are thinking no, because Roman's 3:23 says: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."Although it is, again, difficult to understand, no one is past redemption. 1 John 2:2: "He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for our sins only but also for the sins of the world."

Does this mean we will not answer to God for what we have or haven't done here on earth? No, as we will all stand before the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:10: "For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil." So we are not to judge others, but love and pray for them in spite of what they do. Is it difficult to do? Indeed, but we can ask for Jesus to help and strengthen our hearts, and to help us reach out in disarming love. 

Our Hope

3/9/2022

Romans 8:24-25 "For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? For if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

This evening our family talked for an extended period of time. We haven't had the chance to do this very often lately, as my husband's new position at work has required long hours and has been very demanding. He shared with us that, although his job is challenging, he really feels it is where God wants him. He is also feeling successful and respected, which was not true with the past two companies where he worked. Unfortunately, my son and I are not currently experiencing that same level of success. We both feel purpose in what we are doing but we struggle. My son works harder than anyone I know to create his smart, humorous, and engaging content, but does not have the success of those in his field that are loud and ridiculous instead of gifted and introspective. I work part time at a non-profit, and although I know God has me there for a reason, what I do does not fulfill me. I have other things that I would like to work on, but am too drained by the end of every workday. We are both happy for my husband, but we cannot help feeling a bit glum. Every once in a while what we are both trying to do seems hopeless. 

Romans 15:4 "For what was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

Tonight, as the guys broke away from our conversation to have their nightly devotional time together, I heard an almost audible voice say, "Where does our hope come from?" I just kept hearing, My hope comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth!" over and over again. I had to interrupt their study and pose the same question to them. Right away my son answered, "In Jesus" without missing a beat. This, thankfully, is not a rote response from him, but one he believes deep down is true, and for this I am so very grateful. Hearing him speak that out loud, after feeling a bit down, was a good reminder for us both. I feel confident that, no matter what this life may throw at him, my son's hope will always be in Jesus. Sadly, far too many people do not know this foundational truth of faith. 

In today's world, where fear, judgement, and hatred seem to be running rampant, people need the hope of Christ's mercy, grace, and love so desperately. Even I, as a believer, need to focus on Jesus or I too may be swallowed up with despair. If I have a horizontal viewpoint only, then I can get tossed by the storms that rage around me. However, when I stay with my head lifted and focus vertically, I will feel Holy Spirit power and find peace even when the tempest comes. Where is my hope found? It is found in Jesus, always. 

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." 

Personal Prayer.

3/8/2022

Psalm 145:18 "The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth."

As I have stated before, it is easier for me to lift others up in prayer than to pray for myself. There was a time, however, that my only prayers were for myself. I know that sounds odd, but it was during my healing from a very dark and destructive place, and self-prayer was really all I had the strength to do. Turning to God every waking minute of ever day during that time is the only reason I can actually sit here and write this blog; it is only by His grace. 

Jesus prayed for himself in the garden of Gethsemane, shown in Matthew 26:39: "And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying 'My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.'" He was carrying the unimaginable burden of what was to come, and cried out to His Father. 

There is a life-changing and critical prayer that we pray for ourselves in the sinner's prayer: our profession of faith. Romans 10:9-10 "Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is the Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved." This prayer is an intensely personal one between the individual and God. It is the prayer of submission and yielding to Jesus as the Messiah. This powerful and transformative  invocation is the beginning of a new life of faith. It is the prayer of accepting the most precious gift ever given. It is the prayer of salvation. 

If not for those times of personal pray, I would never have come to know Jesus, and I would have never learned true submission to my Heavenly Father.

Praying in the Spirit

 3/7/2022

John 14:15-17 "If your love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him or knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you."

Recently, I have been starting my prayers by saying, "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit I/we come before you..." It hearkens back to my upbringing in the Catholic church where prayers begin with, In the name of the Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit." This invokes the Holy Trinity into prayer. In the Protestant church prayers often begin with, "Heavenly Father, we come to you in Jesus name." Sometimes prayer begins with Dear God or Dear Jesus. It really doesn't matter how a prayer begins as long as the intention and reverence are there. 

Many years ago, my family attended a Pentecostal church. This was a very new and different experience for us because there were a lot of supernatural occurrences. People pray in the Spirit (praying in tongues), and are are slain in the Spirit (where you are overcome by the Holy Spirit's power and fall prone) The services in this church were very long, yet it never felt as if they were. The pastor often had an extended time of prayer from the altar and also would stop a service to have the congregation pray for one another. Being a part of this kind of powerful worship left an indelible mark on me. No, I never spoke in tongues or experienced being slain in the spirit, but worshiping there opened my soul up to more metaphysical spiritual experience. It was during that time the pretty little box I kept God in was torn asunder. I will be forever grateful to God for leading us to that powerful church and beautiful family of believers, because my faith was opened up to the overwhelming power of the Holy Spirit. 

I have looked up many different ideas about praying in the Spirit, but I think the simplest explanation is that it means to be led by the Holy Spirit in prayer; to open oneself up to be guided and to listen in full submission and faith. 

Romans 8:26-27 "Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God"

Opening up to praying in the Spirit has made me bolder in my faith and in prayer. When I pray in this way my heart, soul, and mind are all engaged in communication with my Savior. Sometimes tears flow, sometime laughter, sometimes I may lift my voice in song, and sometimes I become breathless with awe, Every time, however, praying in the Spirit is always powerful; for He dwells with us and in us. 

Jude 1:20 "But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit."

Ephesians 6:8 "Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplications for all the saints."

Intercessory Prayer

3/6/2022

1 Timothy 2:1 "First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayer, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people."

Intercessory prayers are ones that we lift up for other people. God's Word speaks of this kind of prayer often. Jesus interceded for others in prayer. He also charges us to even pray for our enemies. This is a lot easier said than done, but it is what we are called to do. 

John 17:15 " I do not ask that you take them out of this world, but that you keep them from the evil one."

Luke 23:34 ""And Jesus said, ' Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'"

Matthew 5:44 "But I say to you, Love you enemies and pray for those who persecute you. "

Paul often started his letters with gratitude and prayer for those he was writing to, and encouraged others to lift each other up as well. He both offered intercessory prayer for others, and asked for it as well. 

Philemon 4-6 "I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ."

Colossians 4:2-3 "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mysteries of Christ, on account of which I am in prison-"

Philippians 1:9-11 "And this is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and more discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."

1 Thessalonians 5:25 "Brothers, pray for us."

I find intercessory prayer very comfortable, because the focus is on lifting others up to God for their needs. Currently, my intercessory prayer list is very long, because there is truly so much suffering right now in our world. We have all been living through a global pandemic, there is political unrest, and war; there is much to lift up to our Savior. We need to pray for one another in all the trials, storms, and sorrows of life with full faith and trust in our Savior. We need to pray, most importantly however, for others to yield to the saving power Jesus' death on the cross and glorious resurrection. This is the single most crucial intercessory prayer of all. 

When and How

3/5/2022

Jeremiah 20:12 "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you."

How are we to pray? Several of the verses below tell us to pray without ceasing. Most of us are not cloistered clergy whose entire lives are devoted to prayer. So, how can we achieve such a thing? I believe it is by intentionally communicating with God all day long no matter where you are or what you are doing. When I was in a time of healing from my time of deep despair, I communicated with God all day long every day; a prayer was always on my lips or in my mind. Although it was the most difficult time in my life, it was also the most beautiful, because I was constantly turning to God in prayer. Carrying this forward into a time of relative peace in my life has been difficult, but why is that? Shouldn't I want to talk to my Savior all day long and share everything with Him. 

Colossians 4:2 "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving." 

1 Chronicles 16:11 "Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually."

1 Thessalonians 5;17 "Pray without ceasing."

Matthew 6:6-7"But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And when you pray, do not heap empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words."

We are also told in scripture to pray in a quiet closed room. I began doing this practice after we moved to our new home several years ago. I have placed a cross, given to me by my sister, in my walk-in closet and keep a chair in there as well. I call it may chapel, and I often get lost in prayer for long stretches of time communicating with Jesus. Sometimes I pray silently, sometimes I pray out loud boldly, and sometimes I just listen. I would encourage you all to find you our private chapel to spend time with God.

Ephesians 6:18 "Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints."

1 Timothy 2:8 "I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling."

Jude 1:20 "But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit,"

We are to pray in the Spirit, with hands lifted, earnestly and faithfully. Seek to enter into the Holy Spirits presence and pray with reverence and in humility. We can come before our Lord both in joy or in brokenness; for He accepts us just as we are. 

Acts 1:14 "All these with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers."

James 1:6-7 "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose he will receive anything form the Lord;"

Finally, we are to persevere and be devoted in full faith without doubt, joining with others in prayer. Gathering together in corporate prayer is a powerful thing and, like all prayer, is an act of worship.

Matthew 18:20 " For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."

I have much work to do when it comes to the these areas of prayer, bit I am grateful that God understands I am a work in progress.