Boundaries

 2/2/2022

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Setting boundaries is difficult for me, and always has been. I would say I have developed a strategy of avoidance to give myself space form those in my life who may be overwhelming or toxic. (I am certain that many people have had to set boundaries around me for the same reasons.) Recently, I have dabbled in addressing certain issues with some people in my life, but, unfortunately, those attempts at such conversations did not go well even though I tried to wrap things in respect and love. When they did seem to go okay, afterward I could feel a shift in the relationship, and not a particularly healthy one. 

In my past, I have flown to the side of anyone in need at any time of the day or night. This is what I believed I had to do. Being there for everyone in my life just became my responsibility, and I just expected my husband and son to understand. They never complained, but when I finally began to see how much of a toll it was taking, I had to reassess everything about my life. As a Christian, I was supposed to care for those around me, yes, but my order of importance was all upside down. My own family was who I waved to in my rear-view mirror as I was off once again, walking into someone's trauma or mess. Thankfully, they have both forgiven me for these times, and with God's help and guidance, the imbalance has been righted. 

Now there are a few people who truly appreciated my being there for them, and you know who you are. Then there are, oddly enough, people that seemed to pull away after I had walked with them through a particularly difficult or trying time in their lives. I guess sometimes I became a reminder of the pain that they were trying to move past. I get it, I am not particularly fond of remembering anything about the time when I was dealing with my illness and in deep despair. 

So today, after having a difficult conversation about regularly being there for someone during a time that isn't my own, I was asked to set a boundary. Yikes. Can I do it? Painfully so, I think I can, yet I am torn. The person I am "there for" right now really has no one else. They are wrestling with their faith, and have had the destroyer try to hold them down and continue their path of weariness. In the past, I would have had a different approach to this relationship; that is clearly a God thing, In a time of Covid, however, there are limited opportunities to just go out to lunch or grab a cup of tea and talk. This person is being extra careful, as am I. So, I need to respect the person who has requested I achieve needed boundaries, yet my spirit is disquieted. How can I continue to be there for this individual as I am called to be, and still respect the issue of time and productivity? How can I balance all of the responsibilities in my life while still reaching out to others?  

If I truly work for God, and I am trying to not grow weary in doing good for the sake of the harvest, shouldn't I be listening to His voice above all others? If I am striving, like Paul, to be sold out to Jesus and the message of the Gospel, shouldn't I do what He calls me to do no matter the cost? I am, unfortunately, weary tonight, but I know with patience, prayer, and being still and listening, God will show me the way.