Inspired

10/24/2022

Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

How will you shine your light?

I was bawling my eyes out late this afternoon, and it is all because of my sister-in-law, Linda. No, she did not hurt my feelings or say something offensive to me. On the contrary, she shared a video with me that made me ugly cry. I mean chest heaving, can't catch my breath, snot running down my face sobbing. She, dear reader, is doing the Lord's work every day in such a powerful way and touching the lives of so many young people who need to know the love of Jesus. 

The video was about a new group that is starting at the high school where she teaches religion. It is a national suicide prevention group called Hope Squad. Her school is the first one in her home state, New Jersey, that has adopted this program. It is 100% due to her faith, perseverance, and deep love and concern for her students. Last year, when she hit an obstacle, she didn't give up, and God blessed her school (and her) in a way that not even she expected. God always seems to do that doesn't He?  

The program was introduced via the school's daily news broadcast, the Daily Scoop. After a morning prayer was said, schedules were discussed, and the pledge was recited they showed the video about this beautiful suicide prevention peer program, and my dearest Linda was front and center promoting it with the same passion she puts into everything she does. Simply beautiful and profoundly inspiring. I started to cry even before that part began.

After watching about this critical mission, while still crying, I called Linda, and we talked for an hour about the program, her heart for her students, and how her greatest desire is to impart to them how much they are loved by Jesus. Her classroom is full of reminders of that love everywhere you look. She wants them to understand that no matter how dire things seem, there is always HOPE!

I am so blessed to have this powerhouse of faith in my life. We connect not only on a family level, or a friend level, but most deeply, on a faith level. She inspires me to want to live and love loud for Jesus in a bolder and more powerful way. 

Love you, Linda. God bless you always and in all ways. 

It About the Journey

October 17, 2022

James 4:15 "Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."

Just about a year ago I published Blooms of Faith through Amazon's KDP publishing. I think to date 15 copies have been purchased. I never expected to become a bestselling author, but it is a bit discouraging to have sold so few. In the past two weeks Amazon has dropped the price of Blooms twice. I guess this is what happens to grossly underperforming books. My heart's desire was for Blooms to reach many people. I felt I had been called to begin writing a blog at the end of 2019, and that turned into the book. Of course, 2020 was a year none of us could see coming and Blooms reflects much of that time. It is also a meditation on the challenging and profound writings of Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest; a study that many in my personal circle find too difficult and antiquated. The vision was to try to demystify Chambers writings and show that even the simplest mind, (i.e., mine) could interact with this deeply moving study. 

It was a beautiful journey that I took with God every evening during that uncertain and difficult year. I never intended to publish the 366 days of the blog, yet I was also called to do so. To say that I struggled with imposter syndrome would be an understatement. Why would anyone read anything I wrote, much less what I had to say about Chambers learned and inspired writing. With all the self-doubt I had, I was counseled to publish for a wider audience. After praying for direction, I set out to edit and format Blooms into a document that could be published. This is a time consuming and grueling task, but I persevered. The day Blooms was available for purchase, my small family of three celebrated, and we lifted it in prayer. My only desire was that people would be blessed by using Blooms as a part of their daily devotional time. I posted a link on my one social media platform and waited. 

Most of the fifteen copies that sold did so in the first couple of days after publishing by a few people who wanted to support my efforts. Even my son purchased a copy. 💙 Thanks Ry. As I reflect on the year and what it means to have gone on such a person journey with God, I am blessed and, also, also sad. I thought possibly word of mouth would take over and people would respond. That did not happen. So, when even close family members didn't purchase a copy in support of me, I felt (and still feel) a deep injury. This, of course, is used by the evil one to make me question whether I should have taken such a leap of faith. I often battle with why I so crave other people's support and approval when God's love for me should be where I find my value. Yet I still cannot help but ponder, after all, if I was actually called to write Blooms. If God had truly given me the vision, wouldn't He open the door to people finding it and being blessed? I am sometimes left believing I am a charlatan and thinking maybe this was not what God wanted me to do at all. 

Recently, I had someone ask me what my goal for Blooms was. I answered that I wanted people to read it and be blessed. I had no delusions of grandeur about it becoming a best seller or being able to quit my day job, but the desire to know that people were sharing the writing and possibly reading Chambers original work become important to me. However, mediating on my friend's question helped me to understand that it was always about my journey during 2020 with God. Through all the trauma and uncertainly of that year, I was focused on not only interacting with scripture and being in prayer, but I was writing about faith and a relationship with God every day. It was my personal time that I shared with whomever felt led to read the blog. So, now I see the truth of it. That having a few souls that have read it and been blessed is more than I could ask for. If God has more for the 366-day devotional produced, than He will draw others to it. After a year of discouragement, I am finally releasing it fully to Him. I will now move onto the next part of my journey with my Savior, and the new vision God has given me. I pray He molds me into the shape of that vision and enables me to move forward with faith and confidence in Him alone.