Disquietude

 

8/6/2021

Isaiah 58:6 "Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?"

I have been struggling again recently. I have written about my anxiety disorder many times on Blooms, so it is not a secret to any of you. This state of disquietude is a ravenous monster that calls for constant feeding. It is like the plant from Little Shop of Horrors constantly saying, "feed me". As I have shared before, my anxiety is based on the care and comfort of those I love. If anyone is down, distressed, or going through a difficult life situation, I feel compelled to step in and try to help. The problem is that I try to fix what is unfixable, and when I cannot, I wind up holding on with a death grip. It is exhausting to always be in a state of high alert or support, and the truth of the matter is, many of the people in my life probably don't even want me there. Not that they do not appreciate my love, help, and concern, but I know none of them would want those things to harm me or be a trigger for something worse. 

I speak to a lot of people about the act of release, for it is the thing that saved me from the abyss. When trying to fix a situation and holding onto it so tightly starts to devour you, it is time to release that thing to God. It was the only way back to life for me, but alas, I have begun to go down that familiar road once again; the road of overthinking everyone else's struggles to try saving them from pain. It never ever works, no matter what I say or how hard I try. This, of course, is because I am not the saver and healer of souls; that is only something God can truly do.

 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefor, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

So, I sit here again, fragile and worn, wanting to be the emotional fixer and step into every painful situation, but not wanting to lose myself to the hungry monster again. I know what to do, I just need to turn to my Savior and trust Him while continuing to pray like a warrior for those that I love. 

John 8:36 "So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

*Verses from the ESV Bible

Taking Care of the Mess

 June 24, 2021

Romans 6:11-14 "In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."

One morning when my husband and I were doing our devotions, we had an interesting conversation. We usually can glean something from the passage we read every day, and to be honest, I am more verbose in the sharing of insights and connection to our lives then he usually is. (Sorry sweetie.) On that morning, however, my husband's insight was truly inspired. 

We were reading the above verse, and were, of course, very challenged by it. If we are alive in Christ and dead to sin, we thought, then why do we continue sinning? If I am seeking the Holy Spirit, wouldn't I be attuned and sensitive to sin in my life? Wouldn't that be as natural as breathing? BAM! Then it hit, and my husband said that faith and our connection to Jesus needs to be at the very core of us, so that we are always aligned with His will and His way. Then he spoke of his sister as an example of focus. 

My sister-in-law is a very fastidious person. Her house is always immaculate, and she is always put together with not a hair out of place. I have personally never known anyone with her gift for organization; it factors into every area of her life. She thrives in this environment. I would never say she has OCD - I know that beast too well - but I would say she is particular. Like I said, it is a gift. My husband cannot remember a time that his sister was not this way. Even in their youth, when his and his brother's room looked like a bomb struck with a toy explosion, her toys were always put neatly away back in their proper place. She never had to be reminded to clean up, because she always did it automatically. I am, unfortunately, not gifted in this way. I had to really work on becoming organized and mindful about it.  

My sister-in-law never had to struggle trying to redo something or wade thought the mess, because she has always been mindful about taking care of it right away. It is as natural to her as breathing. Is it hard work to be that on top of everything? Absolutely. Is it better for body, mind, and spirit? It certainly is.

We, as believers, should take care of our spiritual mess (sins) right away instead of letting them grow bigger and bigger; we certainly would be more at peace, and better witnesses for God, if we were so connected to the Holy Spirit, that this kind of focus became a state of spiritual being. If we were mindful and prayerful enough that we did not even enter into the mess, even better. 

Purveyors of Fear

May 25, 2021

Psalm 119:11 "I have stored up your word in my heart, that I may not sin against you."

There is a very famous talk show host who ends his show with these words from John 14:27 - "Let not your hearts be troubled." At first, I was impressed that he would end his show with such hopeful words from the Bible, but then the light went on. He is paid, like many of his counterparts, to scare the living daylights out of us about all that is happening in this world. All these people have platforms on "news stations", but actually editorialize and mostly invite experts on that already agree with their own ideology. My husband and I refer to them all as talking heads. 

So, how can this person end his show with this part of a verse from the Bible when he spews vitriol, judgement, and hatred for an hour five nights a week? Well, I certainly would never say he is not a believer, because I do not know the content of his heart. What I do know is that these words are difficult to hear after spending an hour in a fright-fest with him and his guests. After watching these kinds of editorial "news" talk shows (and it matters little which station you watch), people are almost never at peace. The only purpose they serve is to rile their audience up and solidify the horrible division that is so pervasive in our world. This is not of God. 

Are we called to speak the truth of God's words publicly and powerfully? Indeed we are, but our goal should always be bringing people to a knowledge of the saving grace of Christ, not to pervert God's word for political purposes or to uphold our own ideals and agendas. As believers, we need to come against such actions, pray for those involved in deepening the divide, and share the truth of God's word with faithfulness, love and grace. 

The entirety of John 14:27 is as follows in the NIV: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." I cannot help but notice that the "do not be afraid" portion is omitted from the nightly signoff. Why? It is because the media's job in our current culture is to keep us fearful. This is why we need to turn from these purveyors of fear and seek peace in the one who does not give as the world gives, our Lord.

Never Alone

 

5/22/2021

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God..."

Most of us experience loneliness. Sometimes that can happen even when we have people all around us. I know this has often been true for me. Sometimes I even feel lonely when those I am closest to are with me; that is when life gets really difficult. 

This past year has certainly been one of not just loneliness, but actual isolation for a lot of folks. No face-to-face visits or hugs, and even a comforting smile was obscured by face-coverings. Having casual chats with neighbors on a walk or with strangers in a store became obsolete in favor of keeping your head down and rushing past people to stay safe. It was such a sad and damaging time for us all. Now, thankfully, that is changing with people being vaccinated.  

One thing that I know for sure is that, even when I feel completely alone and forgotten by everyone, I am NEVER forgotten by Jesus. He is always right beside me, waiting for me to come to Him with all that is inside of me. No matter how badly I am struggling, or how crazy I may be, He accepts and loves me just as I am. He truly is the only one who does - or maybe even can - fully love me that way. I know this is true for me, and it is also true for you. All any of us needs to do is be still and let Him hold us in His arms. When others let us down, we can always be sure that He never will. 

A Symbol

4/26/2021

Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who love, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Greetings dear reader. I have taken a bit of a break from blogging, but God has drawn me back. I have missed my daily writing and how it always encouraged me to interact with God's word in a more profound way. I have been in my Bible and have kept up my devotional time with my husband, but this is where I come to process and share what I feel God is teaching me. Recently, I had someone I dearly love tell me that Blooms has helped her. I was deeply moved and blessed by those words. 

Several days ago, as I was getting ready for work, I had so many topics flood into my mind that I started furiously writing them down on little pieces of note paper. I was feeling inspired again. I think sometimes the stress and business of life, at least for me, chokes out the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Then, when I take the slightest time to be still, the floodgates open. I then remember the wise words of my pastor, "God does not call the equipped, He equips the called." I do not have to feel worthy or able, I just need to stay open to God's leading and surrender to Him. 

The other day, while I was sitting at my computer, I looked down and saw my stainless steel, sideways, cross bracelet shining in a sunbeam that was streaming through the window. My husband had given it to me for Valentine's Day nine years ago, and I have not taken it off since. It has become a part of me. As I was looking at it, it dawned on my that it has become sort of like a life alert bracelet. You know, the ones people wear to help them out during a medial emergency. People wear it all the time, just in case. Well, I got to thinking that my "life alert" bracelet is more about the spiritual than the physical. That it represents faith and eternal life, and that is exactly what I would want people to know about me in any emergency. I would want them to know that, no matter what the circumstances that may surround me, I am a broken, forgiven, and beloved child of the Most High. He alone has given me saved life.

A Subtle Attack

4/11/2021

Ephesians 6:12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

Every morning brings with it a promise for change, but often this needs to come from within. Struggling though a bad day (and we all have them) is tough. I know for me, the more frustrated I become about things going awry, the worse everything seems to get. If I am having a clumsy day, and I start letting that frustrate me, the drops, spills, breaks, and stumbles increase. I start feeling badly about myself, and it just keeps cycling around and around. Of course, this is the evil one's way of getting me down and trying to steal my joy. Does he ever succeed in this endeavor? Sometimes, I will admit, he does. Only when I am mindful of the attack and I say, "Not today Satan, today is not your day and you have no control over my life; for I am a beloved child of the Most High. In Jesus name flee from here!" do I overcome. 

Not everything that happens is an attack, but the evil one is always lurking in the shadows, waiting for me to let my guard down just enough that he can strike even in small and unassuming ways. 1 Peter 5:8 - "Be sober minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking to devour you." Not every battle begins as a frontal attack, sometimes it is a subtle sneak attack and one that we are not expecting. These kind are the most insidious. When the flaming arrows of the evil one are firing rapidly, I know what spiritual weapons I need, but when it comes on slowly I often try to fight alone. This is a BIG mistake! My spiritual armor should be firmly secure every minute of every day, so that no matter how the battle comes, I am ready. Ephesians 6:11 "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil."

Tucked Away

4/9/2021 

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing , so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

There is a song by Casting Crowns called Does Anybody Hear Her? It was released in the early 2000's, so it is not played very often on the radio anymore. My husband said he had never actually heard it before today. It is a powerful song, like most of Casting Crowns are. The chorus lyrics are: 

Does anybody hear her?

Can anybody see?

Or does anybody even know she's going down today?

Under the shadow of our steeple

With all the lost and lonely people

Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her?

Can anybody see?

In the video a young women is shown who is lost and hurting. She stands outside a church as people walk by her to enter not noticing her at all. The images are extremely powerful and heartbreaking. The lines, "Under the shadow of our steeple. With all the lost and lonely people. Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me." really hit me hard. It makes me think of how, when we find a treasure, we often do not want to share it trying to keep the entire value for ourselves. The thing is, the treasure we have found in Christ does not lose its value when we share it; on the contrary, instead it multiplies. Shouldn't we want to strive to help make the world rich in faith by finding Jesus' saving grace? 

Why do we so often keep the hope we have tucked away? It is time to be bold and share that hope with others. 

Frustration

 4/5/2021

John 16:33 "I have said these things to you, that in me you will have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

Today was an extremely Monday kind of Monday. It started out rough and just continued to be. I woke up feeling off, and then received some concerning texts. Then someone I care about had a really difficult time with a long awaited project. I could not do anything to really change anyone's issues or situations. Even trying to be positive didn't help. Yup, it was one of those days. 

I have to say that frustration is not my go to reaction when things go awry. I do have someone close to me that does go straight to that specific reaction. Unfortunately, there was a lot of frustration in the air today. When that happens it can permeate everything. The more I allowed myself to give into the negative surrounding the day, the more small things started happening. For instance, during dinner I dropped, spilled, and splashed over and over again. The more I just shook my head the more it happened. Sigh. Yes, it was a very Monday kind of Monday.

I found myself also being distracted in my prayers as well. Usually, when things get rough, I can easily go straight into prayer. Today the evil one was really trying to undo me because I was very fuzzy every time I tried to do so. My armor had not just slipped, it was off and in another room. Ugh. Thankfully, God inspired me to pull away from all the issues and come to Him and lean in. I am so grateful, and although not everything from today is settled, my soul is calm and my prays are clear. To God be the glory. 

He Is Risen!

 4/4/2021

John 11:25 "Jesus said to her 'I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in, though he may die, yet shall he live.'"

He is risen, He is risen indeed. 

It is Resurrection Sunday, and I am feeling the power of the Holy Spirit so strongly in everything. I have received many Easter blessing wishes and I've shared and seen many posts about Jesus' love and saving grace. For some people it is a day about bunnies, candy, egg hunts, spring flowers, and family gatherings. For me, even though some of those things are part of this day, my focus is on my risen Savior Jesus. I am filled with gratitude every day for Jesus' love, mercy, and saving grace. It is a gift that brings with it eternal life.

This is a gift that is for everyone. All that needs to be done is to repent and accept the gift by asking Christ to be Lord of your life. 

Influencer

4/3/2021

Galatians 5:7-10 "You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That persuasion does not come from the one who called you. A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough. I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty."

In today's culture, there is a new term for a person with social medial power. They are called "influencers". Most of the time, these people are quiet young, and they become infulencers after gaining a large amount of followers across many platforms. Tik-Tok is the newest video-based platform being used. All you need is a cellphone, a voice, and some very basic tech skills, and you too can say and do pretty much anything you want to. YouTube is still an important place to create content as well. Millions of people interact with this kind of social media every day, often spending hours doing so. I have fallen into the pattern of watching a YouTube video, and having that one lead to another until I have wasted too much of my precious time. Thankfully, this has not turned into a habit for me, unlike many other people. When I worked in a K-8 school a few years ago, the junior high students would often share with me that they would be up until the wee hours of the morning watching random videos. I am sure their parents thought they were sound asleep. These same students have now graduated, and are adults with the same habit firmly ingrained in them. 

This, to me, is very disconcerting. Not only are people making A LOT of money when they achieve a certain number of followers, but they begin to speak with authority. Unfortunately, much of what is being said is divisive, and furthers the issues we have as a society. We were slowly becoming a youth culture, but now the pendulum has swung to that side completely and it is dangerous. Now I am a person who believes that all people should be loved and respected, but I also believe that maturity brings wisdom. Oh, it is true there are some "old souls" out there who are wiser than their years, but most of the time wisdom comes with experience. I know that was true in my own life. 

What truly concerns me is that our youth are listening to hours and hours of unchecked opinion from people that they do not even know, and much of the communication, no matter how vile, can be done anonymously. Before we were all consumed by the world wide web, young people used to open books for knowledge, listen to teachers, parents, or pastors, and go to people they trusted for advice. Sometimes those people were peers, sure, but at least you knew that, even if they were as clueless as you were, they at least cared about you enough to try and do their best. Now we can all be subtly or overtly drawn into thought processes and ideologies by people we have absolutely no connection to, and who do not care at all about the impact they are having. Fame, and with it a platform, is something anyone can have now, and it is frightening to me.

What really concerns me is that we are no longer, as a nation anyway, being led or influenced by the single most important piece of media that has ever been produced, nor are we following its Author. All wisdom on every subject you could ever need an answer for is in this amazing tome. Of course, I am referring to the Bible, the inspired Word of God. For thousands of years, people have searched it for purpose, meaning, and truth. All you have to do is read the book of Proverbs to experience the timelessness of the the words within.

Sadly, we have been slowly pulling away from the Bible and our Creator. The other day I actually read a headline for an op-ed in the Los Angeles Times that went something like, "our current godlessness is actually good for the nation". Now to be fair, I could not open the article and read it fully, but the headline was enough for me to be shaken. Yes, it is clear that people are turning away from God, and that some of the people who are most vocal about following Him are off the mark. Believers, especially evangelicals (of which I am one), are often thought of as being synonymous with the far political right. They, as far as I can see, are just as judgmental as the far political left. There was a time in this country when both Democrats and Republicans were people of deep faith. Now religion has become a flash-point. 

I know that I want my only influence to be Jesus. If something being said - by anyone, actually - does not line up with God's Word, I will not heed it. The more I delve into the Bible, the more inconsistency I see in the movements of the world around me. We have, as a world and a nation, lost our center and our focus. Our country was founded on Biblical principles, which is why we had been the greatest nation in modern history. Clearly those days are behind us, unless we can turn back to God and live the way His Words tells us to live, with love, mercy, and grace for all people.  

Who, I wonder, is your biggest influence?

The Price

4/2/2021

Philippians 2:6-8 "Who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equity with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross,"

Today is Good Friday. It is a day that the world remembers Jesus' crucifixion. It is a day that some people watch The Passion of the Christ. It is a day that there are usually many somber church services, although this year that is probably not the case. Some people attend live stations of the cross. I did this one year with a dear friend of mine. We walked, with a small group of other believers, through the downtown of a small New England city as we took turns carrying a large wooden cross. My friend and I carried the cross together, her at the front and me at the rear as we wept. It is still the most powerful memory I have of this day, and it will stay with me forever. 

This is a day set aside to remember Jesus' sacrifice for my sin, but that is something that I remember and am grateful for every day. The magnitude of such a profoundly loving and selfless act is never far from me, ever. Every time I speak in judgement of someone else, every time I am envious, every time I am selfish, every time I do not honor God with my words actions, I know that He will still show me mercy. Do I deserve that grace? No, nothing I will ever do could earn such forgiveness. My Savior, however, gives it to me as a gift, but it is a gift bought with the highest price that there could ever be. 

This is why I think of His grace, love, and mercy every day, because He is always there to give it to me with open arms. To God be the glory forever and ever. 

Liminal Spaces

White peony flower background. White beautiful peony flower background3/31/2021

3/31/2021

John 16:13 "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come."

Being caught in a liminal space is difficult. It requires waiting and change. It is the in-between time of life, where you feel like you are walking through a haze with no direction and no answers. I have been in this place many times, and I am here again. There is no way around these periods of life. They are not usually times of high emotion or drama, at least not in my experience, but rather times that are dull. It is considered a time of being on a threshold, where you are neither in nor out. 

That is how I have been feeling lately, like I am stuck between two worlds. One of them I currently have to be in, and one of them I want to be in. The first one drains me, and the other energizes. One is practical, and one is on a road less traveled. One benefits those around me, the other fills my soul. This middle place, this time of static life, needs much prayer. If I keep going vertical and focus on my relationship with God, He will show me the way to move and finally be free from this nebulous world I am currently in. He alone has my answer.

Finding Purpose

3/30/2021

Psalm 57:2 " I cry our to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me."

This morning I had a crisis of purpose. This happens to me quite frequently when I feel like I am not doing all that God would have me do. I know, ultimately, that I am called to share the Gospel with others, but what form this takes always seems to allude me. I am so burdened for this world that I have gone from a  personal outreach mission to wanting to literally shout the Good News from the rooftop. People need the mercy, peace, and love of Jesus. 

I truly feel that we, as believers, need to stop being complacent and largely silent during this dark time in our world. We will be persecuted for our faith in Christ, the Bible is clear on this point, so why do we hide? It is not that we should strive for boldness in our faith and not waver. Sharing the Gospel is the single most important thing any of us can ever do for another person. No amount of money, worldly success, fame, or possessions will ever truly be fulfilling, for all those things will pass away, but one soul coming to know Jesus is worth more that anything this earth can ever provide. We are called to be aliens in this world, knowing we will be misunderstood and may even be perceived as dangerous. The unknown can be frightening, but a life of faith is truly the only path to peace. 

It is time to share the Gospel without reservation, love boldly, and  proclaim the reality of saving grace through Christ. 

Whisper

  

3/20/2021

1 Kings 19:11-13 "The LORD said, 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, 'What are you doing here Elijah?'

Elijah waits to hear from God on the mountain. A powerful wind comes, an earthquake, and a fire but the LORD did not pass by in any of those. Then a gentle whisper comes by and Elijah heard the LORD. God does not come to us through a show of His might, even though He certainly could. He comes to us in that still small voice. He comes to us in a whisper. When I think about the times I have heard God leading me it is in the quiet stillness of prayer or an solitary moment of inspired vision. 

When life gets loud and the storms rage around me I have a harder time hearing God, even though I am holding onto Him with all of my might. He is always there carrying me through the storms, but it is not until I am quiet and still that I can hear Him. Psalm 46:10 "He says, 'Be still and know that I am God.' "

God speaks to us in a whisper. 

Keeping My Word

3/28/2021

Matthew 5:37 "Let what you say be simply 'Yes" or 'No' all else comes from the evil one."

Confession time. A few months ago I agreed to help someone with a project. It is something very important and personal to them, so I was honored to be included in the small group of people providing feedback. I was initially excited and started strong, and then I began letting the things of every day life get in the way of my commitment. She, I reasoned, had a few other people that would be involved so my procrastination would not be too big a deal. Then I heard that many of these people also let their commitment to her project slide in their own lives. She had become discouraged and started wondering if she should even continue. I felt so awful that I had let her down. I apologized and renewed my commitment to her, telling her that I would carve out some time in my day to focus on the project. She was very grateful. 

As a believer I need to be more careful with taking on things that may be a bit too time consuming, but I also need to keep my word when I do make a promise. I know that I have certainly been disappointed when others have not kept their word to me. As a believer and follower of Jesus, I am called to always be a person of integrity in word and deed. Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men."

Fully Committed

3/27/2021

Matthew 24:14 “And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.”

Recently, we watched another episode of Inexplicable. It is series about the spread of Christianity around the world, and the men and women who boldly preached the gospel. There is a theme among these devout Disciples of Christ, and that is how they were fully committed to Him. They did not give excuses for not wanting to act when given the opportunity, nor did they let anything get in their way. They all walked in complete faith, even unto being martyred. Oftentimes these people not only gave up temporal comforts, but were also trailblazers who would go to the ends of the earth to tell others about Jesus. Hearing these stories is encouraging, challenging, and terrifying to me. I have to ask myself: if I was led by God to give up everything and share the gospel in a foreign land, could I do it? Could I even boldly cross the street in my own neighborhood to do so?

As I have stated before, I believe sharing the Good News of God’s Word is both a common and most critical purpose of every believer. We are commanded to do so. If I had my mind set on eternity even 50% of the time, I would be compelled to share this truth with everyone I came in contact with. I would ask God to keep me mindful of this in all the tasks of my everyday life. Alas, I become distracted and focused on the external instead of the internal. I am concerned with the temporal instead of the eternal. I feel ill-equipped and uncomfortable. I do not want to offend anyone. (Pause…) Glancing over this paragraph, it is clear the reason why being bold about Jesus seems to be a problem for me: The word “I” is in this paragraph 10 times alone. Obviously, yours truly has an “I” problem. Philippians 2:21 “For they seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.”

Dying to self is an ongoing process for sure. Me decreasing and Christ increasing is the only way for me to see His plan for my life, and gain strength for the journey through His power. Time for me to make an extended daily appointment with the only one Who can heal me from my “I’ problem. My prayer is to one day be fully committed.

I am as always, a work in progress. 

A Treacherous Journey

3/26/2021

Psalm 121:8 "The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."

Tonight my family and I watched a documentary about the search for Noah's Ark. It followed a group of researchers and scientists to the summit of Mt. Ararat. It is very difficult to get permission from the Turkish government to even attempt such a climb. If you are granted clearance, then the really hard part begins. The team needs to hike the mountain on foot, carrying gear and following Kurdish guides. Then they need to make camp at different elevations to acclimate to the thinner air as they ascend. The climb itself is treacherous enough without the wind, cold, snow, hail, and soupy mist. As I was watching, I was grateful that I was sitting on a comfy couch in my warm house. 

The one thing that stood out to me about the men who were part of this expedition was their steadfast belief that the Ark is indeed under the deep ice of Ararat. Their motivations may have been different, as some went because of a scientific pursuit, some went for spiritual reasons, and some went for both. They worked together, encouraged each other when things got rough, and rejoiced together when they reached the summit. Very few people in history have even attempted such an endeavor, so they realized that this time in their lives was unique and special. 

They dug and drilled though thirty-plus feet of ice to try recovering some evidence of the Ark for several days with complete hope and faith. Alas, like many before them, they did not find anything conclusive to prove the existence of that huge vessel from the Bible which saved Noah and his family, as well as every creature that roamed the earth. Were they disappointed? Absolutely. The commonality at the end of their journey was that the search will never be over, and if it is God's will, the Ark will be found one day.

What struck me about the entire movie was not that the trek (which in many people's minds would seem pointless) may have been arduous and disappointing, but it was largely a journey of faith. A few of the men shared, with tears in their eyes, that on the mountain they had an experience with God. They also had formed lasting bonds with one another. I feel it is reflective of the journey that we are all on as believers. We hold a deep faith in a God that we know is there, even if we cannot see Him. We hold tightly to that belief, even when others do not understand. We also form deep bonds with other believers over shared experiences. Yes, our walk with Jesus is a winding journey, filled with unknown twists and turns, but we can be sure footed because we know He is leading us every step of the way. 

Lost But Not Forgotten

3/25/2021

2 Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness."

It is heartbreaking when someone turns so far away from faith in Jesus that they take every opportunity to beat down Christianity. I have experienced this recently and with someone in my life. My husband and I have done ministry work with kids of all ages, from nursery aged to young adults. We facilitated a college and career group in New Hampshire before moving to a different state. This group usually had 10 to 15 participants, most of them regular attendees. We would open our house up every Sunday night to study and discuss the Bible, pray, play board games, watch movies, share meals, have parties, and often talk to a few of them until the wee hours of the morning. We also were "on call" whenever any of them were having a hard time and needed council. We did our very best to be open and available in every way. 

We both have learned over many years that our mission as disciples of Jesus is to plant a seed, and that God works in the heart and soul. It is difficult not to know if you have had a lasting impact on someone's life, and we would often think of the children, teens, or young adults that have passed through our lives for a season praying that they all yielded to the Lord and were following Him. Then came social media. Now to be honest, neither of us had been on any platform until about four years ago. Yup, we were really late to that party. As we have connected with more and more people from our past, we sadly have noticed that some of the young people we ministered to, either through our church family or one of the groups we facilitated, are no longer walking with the Lord. Even more heartbreaking is that one of them is actively aggressive when it comes to the Christian faith. This person posts the most awful things about believers, and it truly hurts my heart to see. The pain does not come from the negativity, for we know that persecution is part of walking with Jesus. No, the pain comes from knowing that this person has hardened their heart to Jesus. 

I know people will "unfriend" or "ghost" someone that get them riled up on social media, but I feel led to use my page as a way to edify others and honor Jesus. I used to get, as my son calls it, baited into never-ending debates trying to defend Christianity to those who are still blind to the saving grace of Jesus. I would try to redirect them from focusing on their disappointment with imperfect believers, of which I am one, to focusing on Jesus. Alas, no amount of loving words seemed to matter in the heat of the debate. So, I did a full stop. Now I post articles, encouraging faith memes, and prayers about the love of Christ and the healing that can only from Him. My prayer is that this dear lost soul, and those like her, will continue to see these posts, and one day yield their lives to the Savior once again. 

Still Learning

 

3/24/2021

Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

I am still learning. I often do not take the right road, say the right thing, or do the right thing. You see, I am an emotional fixer; when I see someone struggling, I try to help them out of where they are. Actually, sometimes the best, most helpful thing I could actually do is just let them feel how they feel. That is often the best course in the moment, but not my go-to. I am working on checking in with people and then just letting them be. Often, any high emotion eventually settles, and the person may want to talk afterward. I am also working on just listening without trying to offer solutions. Being asked for advice first is always a good idea before heading into those potentially choppy waters.

The unfortunate thing for me, personally, is that God is usually trying to pull me out of my crazy cycle of fixing before I even attempt to do so. I hear that still small voice or feel a Holy Spirit tug, but I still feel compelled to jump right in head first. Like I said, I am still learning. I really am trying to get myself out of the way and seek God’s wisdom, but self is difficult to conquer.

I also have a long history of habitually taking this leap into other people’s troubles. It is difficult for me to determine if this is a learned/expected behavior, or just a part of my nature. I cannot remember a time in my life that I did not willingly walk into the fire of someone else’s difficult situation. I’m not gonna lie, y’all, doing this under my own steam is exhausting. When I follow the Lord’s leading, however, these times of support for another feel anointed and blessed, and I do not get weary. You would think I would not approach support any other way. Like I said, I’m still learning after all this time.

God wants us to be there for others, and He will give us the wisdom and strength to do so, if we just seek Him first. John 15:12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

I am, as always, a work in progress. I am just so humbled that God never gives up on me. 

Grief and Love

 3/23/2021

Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

It is difficult to see someone you love in pain and not be able to really do much to help them. Right now I am watching my son go through the five stages grief and it is so heartbreaking to witness. Grief takes time, and I do not think we really ever fully heal from losing someone. It is like a wound that can open up at any moment no matter how much time has passed. I know this is true for me. I lost my father while I was in high school, and the smallest reminder can trigger a very emotional reaction that can bring me right back to that time almost four decades ago. I think I feel a deep empathy for any person experiencing loss because of the impact losing him had on my life. My sister-in-law reminded me of the saying that grief is just love with nowhere to go. This is so very true and beautifully puts simple words to a difficult and complex process. 

The only thing any of us can really do for those around us who have experienced loss is be there for the person grieving and pray for them. We are to bear each other's burdens, but only God can bring the peace that passes all understanding. Another action we can take is to live our lives to the fullest, and never miss an opportunity to say I love you. Recently, for me, I also do not want to miss a chance to tell others that God loves them even more. His love is the most important love of all.

 

Choices

 3/22/2021

Isaiah 30:21 “And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”

Decisions. How are we supposed to go about making a major choice in life? Every decision has at least two ways to go, and some have a multitude of directions. Often times, people go about making a determination by creating a pros and cons list. I know my husband and I have done this exercise ourselves in the past. Seeking council from people you trust is also a way to come to an answer. Many people roll the theoretical dice and take a chance with an action. So, how are we, as believers supposed to approach which fork in the road to take?

We, of course, are taught to turn to God in all things. Matthew 6:33 states, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Start by acknowledging God and being thankful that He has shown you grace and mercy. Know that all the things of this earth are temporary, but the kingdom of God is eternal. When we begin with eternal focus, we gain perspective. The single most important decision anyone of us will ever make is to yield to Jesus, and accept Him as our Savior. This is the only eternal decision any of us will ever make, all else is temporal.

Next comes trust. Proverbs 3:5-6 states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” I know that when I make decisions outside of seeking God’s wisdom, or if I force my own desire or will into a situation, it does not go well. When I take time to pray and lift important decisions to the Lord, the Holy Spirit guides me. I may get a clear sign or an obviously open door, or I may just get a feeling of immense peace.

When we turn to God as our Great Councilor and, after wrapping a situation in prayer, take time to be still and listen, sometimes He will come to us as that still small voice inside and there will be a knowing. We are never out of His sight or out of His care. Psalm 32:8, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”

My Quandary

 

3/21/2021

Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

I must apologize to you, dear reader, as I have been struggling with my writing this past week, and it definitely shows. I was wondering when – or if – I was going to reach this point. The looming question has recently been: would I become weary, saturated, or just blank in continuing my blogging journey? Today marks blog number 466 in a row. Even though I have gotten loving encouragement about possibly slowing down, as my goal was never to continue past a year, I have still felt led to continue.

Last week was difficult on many levels, and although the world is very slowly getting back to some normalcy, my world has several big changes happening again. One of these changes could be very positive, one of them is extremely daunting, and one of them just brings me sorrow. I have been pouring my mental and spiritual energy into these and other areas, so much so that my writing has lost its way. I am feeling so weary, y’all. Constant change is hard.

I know God is on the throne, and He is in every one of these changing areas of my life. I see His hand and deeply feel His presence. I also know that, if I continue to be willing, He will give me strength and use me to reach out to others. Maybe the next part of the journey will not be through the written word, or maybe it will be. Whatever lies ahead, He will certainly be leading me down the narrow road.

So, I will be back tomorrow in some form. If God inspires me and gives me the words, I will continue as I have been. I certainly want to persevere, but if my emotions are still getting in the way I may have to take a bit if a break. If I am open to God’s guidance at our anointed time it will show in what is written. Either way, I will let you know.  My only desire is to serve my Savior. 

In Every Season

3/20/2021

Hosea 10:12 "Sow for yourselves; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you." 

It is the first day of spring and actually was nice in the northeast. This is VERY unusual for those of us that live up in the frozen tundra. It is an amazing and welcome blessing after this long and difficult year of pandemic living. I know this kind of weather is giving me hope for an extended time of having tea on our front porch and working in our gardens. To say that I am anxiously anticipating working in the fresh air and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin would be an understatement. It is healing for the soul to be in the glory, majesty, and beauty of God's creation. Every flower that blooms, tree that buds, and birds song that is sung brings with it hope, and hope is certainly something we could all use right now. 

Spring brings with it renewal and hope, but, as a believer, I know that true hope and new life is found in Jesus. He bring mercy, grace, and new life to all those that yield to Him. God brings healing and peace to broken souls and showers love upon His children. This is the truth of the Gospel in the warmth of spring, heat of summer, chill of fall, and bitter cold of winter. God is always waiting for all of us with open arms and eternal love.

A Lesson

3/19/2021

Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will council you with my loving eye on you,"

Sometimes God gives us clarity through a situation that we never expected. As long as we are willing to  stay sensitive to the lessons that God is trying to teach us, we will learn what is intended. For me, this week, a lesson came after loss. The loss was immensely difficult and the lesson buried under my grief. It took me days of tears and struggle to see the truth. The truth of my weak faith and my devotion to fear became crystal clear. I learned the truth about the lie of fear stealing my life and all that I could be doing for others, especially my loved ones. I learned that the evil one wants me to stay trapped in a perpetual state of worry even when I am battling it with all of my strength. I learned that I cannot battle it alone, I never have been able to. I need to release this area of my life fully to my Savior every day or it will continue to consume me. 

I am, as always, a work in progress. 

A Little Kindness

 3/18/2021

Colossians 3:12 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

Today was my first day back to work after the sudden loss of our puppy. I know it may seem odd to take a few days off for a pet, but she was truly family, and the shock and grief are intense. What I did not anticipate was how her loss would bring up all the loss of this past year, making it bubble over within me. The emotional release has been cathartic. I am blessed that I work at an organization with lovely people who are very understanding, and who put no pressure on me to return. I was able to share my emotional state with them in an email yesterday, and tell them about how many things this year were right under the surface. I think a lot of people have this same thing going on in our world right now.

I was very moved today when I walked into work and saw a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a card from one of my co-workers and her husband. When I saw them, I smiled through tears, and as I am always the first one there, I was able to take a moment. This co-worker lost her pup a little over a year ago, and she is still feeling that pain. She truly knows, like many of us, how much a beloved member of the family our pups are. I think, because of this understanding, she was motivated to do an act of kindness for me. I cannot tell you how this was a balm to my soul, and helped get me through my workday. 

This evening, I am thinking about how a small gesture of kindness and love can speak for us when we have no words. It is an action, and makes us feel like we can do maybe a little something to ease the pain or sorrow of another. It is, I feel, a pure form of showing someone support and love, and helps us to show the love of Jesus. I know that I could certainly be better at these kind gestures for others. It is now another area of my walk that I can focus on and implement with God's help. 

Living and Active

3/17/2021

Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

One of the books I am currently reading is The Challenge: Sermons from Madison Square Garden, by Billy Graham. I have read several of his books and would recommend any of them. This book is a compilation of the 10 sermons he preached in New York throughout 1969. The really staggering thing to me as I read each one is that the entire book (barring certain historical references which were current events at the time) could have been written today. He speaks of turmoil in higher education. He speaks of racial inequality. He speaks of hopelessness. He speaks of how people are searching for meaning and purpose. He speaks of all the ills and positive attributes of society in these sermons. He also very clearly speaks of Who every human needs to yield his or her life to in order to find truth, purpose, forgiveness, peace, strength, and hope, and that is the Savior of the world Jesus. He proclaims the Gospel unapologetically and boldly to a packed Madison Square Garden every night. (They were also broadcast in 21 cities along the east coast, and three of them were shown in prime time on more than 300 stations in the US and 60 station abroad.) There is no prosperity preaching here, nor any new age content mixed in; there is only the truth of the Word of God. Sadly, since his death, we have been lacking this kind of visible Christian servant in our country and our world, and we certainly could use one.

The other thing about Graham’s book is that it, once again, shows that the Bible is and always will be both timeless and timely. It has been around for thousands of years, yet it is still as relevant today as it ever was in history, and is the best-selling book of all time. Even though we, as a culture, have leaned into mediation, self-help books, and programs to try to replace it, the Bible is truly the only book anyone will ever need as a blueprint for this life. Every flaw, failure, and sorrow of the human condition is addressed within, as well as the answer to joy, peace, forgiveness, purpose, and everlasting life. It was, is, and always will be the inspired, infallible, inerrant Word of God.

I encourage you, if you have not yet made it a practice of your life, to begin interacting with God’s Word. As the verse above states clearly, it is living and active and will change your life forever. It has certainly changed mine.

Basic

Instructions

Before

Leaving

Earth

Better With God

3/16/2021

Matthew 11:28-30 " Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

What do we do when things are going great and then...BAM... you hit a roadblock? Well, a gifted young man that I love bunches had this recently happen to him, and the last few days have been particularly rough. So what did he do today? He went to church. Yes, this big, strong, passionate, tenderhearted young man went to spend time with God. Oh my heart. Even though he had sought council from his parents, who are both wise and loving and would do anything for their children, he still needed to have some quiet time with God and seek answers from Him. This afternoon, when I checked in to see how he was doing, his mother shared with me that after he went to church, he felt a better. I was so encouraged and blessed. This very intelligent, capable, hardworking man of character, when faced with disappointment and a difficult decision, turned to his Heavenly Father for guidance and comfort. I had to smile at the beautiful picture in my mind's eye, as I too always feel better after quiet time with God. 

Sure it would be nice if God gave us a clearly marked road map for our life's journey, with all the turns we need to take and places we need to stop for a spell. Alas, this is not the way of life. We do, however, have God's Holy Word as a guide and prayer as a connection to Him. For in is only in our Savior we will find true peace and rest for our weary souls. 

A Sad Day

3/15/2021

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit."

 It has been a very difficult day. I know that so many people are grieving right now.  There has been a lot of loss over this past year, and it is palpable every day. Today, my family experienced a very personal loss as our almost 15 year old puppy unexpectedly passed away. (I wrote a post featuring her with her picture on March 5th.) One moment she was fine and the next moment she wasn't. When anyone you love leaves you so suddenly immediate shock occurs, and that certainly happened with my family today. 

Pets are family. I know that people who have not experienced the profound blessing of an animals unconditional love may not understand this truth. My family has been blessed three times over, and we have felt loss deeply when each one left us. One grace that we have received from God is that, with all three, we have not had to make the decision to put them to sleep. This is usually not true for most families, and we, even in our grief, are grateful. We are not just grateful this mercy, but we are grateful to have known love so pure in this often ugly and difficult world. Dogs certainly are a peak at heaven. 

It strikes me as I am writing this that my son was a model of God's love to our little girl, who was honestly his. He held her when she was frightened, for he was the only one who could bring her true comfort. He forgave all her iniquities without question. He took care of her every need no matter what they were. He knew her better than anyone else, because he gave her his time and energy. He showed her immeasurable kindness. He sacrificed his comfort for hers. He always put her first, always. There wasn't anything that he would not do for her. He loved her unconditionally with all he had, and she in turn, loved him in equal measure. His model of love for her humbles me to my core and makes grateful that I was able to be a witness to it all. His example is spurring me on to do better, be better, myself. 

Lastly this evening, to our sweet quirky little girl, I want to thank you for making us laugh, for your companionship, for your protection, and for your love, We will miss you and love you forever. 

The Power of God

3/14/2021

In these turbulent times, even believers get weary. When this happens, I have to check where my focus lies. Is it on the world and the circumstances that surround me, or is it on Jesus? Is my focus an eternal one or a temporal one? I have access, through the Bible and prayer, to the Creator of the Universe. I think I sometimes lose sight of this truth. The following are just a few verses that will help us to remember that God is the victor no matter the battle. 

1 Chronicles 16:11 "Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his presence continually." (ESV)

Ephesians 6:10 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. (NIV)

Matthew 19:26 "Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.' " (NIV)

1 Chronicles 29:11 "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all." (NIV)

1 Corinthians 6;14 "By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also." (NIV)

Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exalt over you with loud singing." (ESV)

1 Corinthians 1:18 "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." (NIV)

May the Word of God and prayer be our focus and where we seek our strength.  

Next Step

3/13/2021

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

I struggle with a fear-based mind; that is the essence of having OCD. I have written about it many times on this blog. I have also written how the pandemic has been the perfect storm for my illness, and I know I am not alone. There are many people who are now operating in fear that really never have before. Not all people are, mind you, but the illness, death, lockdowns, unrest, and loss in every area of life has been a mental and emotional tsunami for many. It has been so very exhausting, and this one year has felt like an eternity, though certainly not a heavenly one.

This afternoon, my family was having a discussion about the world slowly getting back to normal. More and more people are getting vaccinated, the infection and death numbers are decreasing—thank you Lord—and spring is approaching. Most of the medical professional are still encouraging mask wearing for the foreseeable future, but there have already been a few states that have relaxed that mandate. As we chatted, I started to wonder what it will be like for me to be back out in the world. Other than going to work – which I am only around two other people and we each have a lot of space – I have not gone anywhere in months, save for one doctor’s appointment. Even my husband only goes out grocery shopping once a week, and to work where he also has his own space. We have not been to church—except virtually— or gotten together with family or friends—except virtually as well—and we have certainly not gone out shopping for anything but necessities—Amazon has become our go-to for everything. Sigh.

I have to say, my family has been very supportive and sensitive about how I have “felt” I need to maneuver during this odd time. I can tell they are really ready to bust out and get back to life. I can feel their anticipation and excitement. I, however, do not share this eagerness to get back out there. I had to push myself to get back into the world one other time after an extended period of self-quarantine, and it was nothing less than excruciating. How then, will I do this second time around, when I have mostly felt so safe within the confines of my own home?

I will trust God fully and completely, just as I did during my last reentry. I will lean on His strength when I cannot find my own. I will let Him carry me when I cannot stand, and hold my hand when I can finally amble out on shaky legs. I will stay in His Word, as I have done daily for so long now, and pray fervently. I will read my life verses in Philippians Chapter 4, and seek out the other 365 verses which tell me not to fear. I will ask others for intercessory prayer. I will be honest when I am struggling and when I am victorious. Will it be easy? No, but God never promised my road would be. He promises to be faithful, love me, and show me mercy. He is my truth and where I will put my trust.

A Privilege

3/12/2021

1 Timothy 2:1 "First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, and intercessions, and thanksgiving be made for all people."

Never wonder if your prayers are powerful or matter. Praying for another person is the most dynamic action we can take on their behalf. Being able to come before Almighty God in intersession with a grateful and humble spirit is a miracle in itself. When we see evidence that our prayers are being answered, it is truly amazing. Sometimes God answers prayers directly, and sometimes He answers them in ways we never even thought to ask Him. Either way, experiencing His mercy and grace in the lives of others is so moving and wondrous. 

This evening, I had someone I dearly love thank me and my husband, completely out of the blue, for praying for her and her family. She shared with me that she always had strong women of faith in her family who were prayer warriors, and that she always felt covered by their faithful intercession for her. She had not felt that in a while, as these dear ones have gone on to receive their heavenly reward. I was moved and so touched that she once again feels that her family is covered in faithful prayer. I was also able to share with her that I feel equally covered by her as she lifts our family up to Jesus. It was an exchange that will always remain precious to me. 

As I thought about this beautiful exchange, it struck me that we both have this assurance, because we are free with each other about asking for prayers and offering them for one another. We also let each other know we are holding one another up. It is such a blessing to hear those words, and I hear them from several sisters in faith. I often say to these dear ones that my prayer list just keeps growing and growing, and they echo this for their own lives. What a beautiful privilege it is to come before our precious Savior on behalf of others. It is also a privilege to be able to say to another soul that you are holding them up in prayer, and a blessing to hear that as well. To God be the glory. 

For Granted

3/11/2021

Luke 17:5 "The apostles said to the Lord, 'Increase our faith!'"

Yesterday's blog was about faith. I shared a chair analogy that my husband came up with during our morning devotional. Yesterday the focus was on how we do not recognize the chair that is strong and reliable; we don't have to think about the chair holding us up when we sit, we just have faith that it will. We put faith in many things every day. We believe that water will come out of the faucet for morning showers, we believe our heat will work and our cars will start, we believe our homes will still be there at the end of our day, and our ovens will work when we go to prepare dinner. We believe these things without much thought or gratitude until we have an issue with one of them. Most of the things we put our faith in, we almost always take for granted. We even do this with people in our lives. 

On this day last year, the CDC declared Covid-19 a pandemic, and the everyday things we put our faith in being constant disappeared. It is true that our kitchen chairs still may have held us up, but everything else became topsy-turvy. Most of us could not leave our homes to go to work. We were not able to go to church, shop, or gather with family and friends. Our cars stayed parked most of the time, and we could not (in the beginning) even leave our yards. We began to notice every small things that we took for granted, and longed for the lock-down to slow the spread and finally be over. This, as you all know, did not happen quickly. It actually has not happened yet, although it is true that more and more people are getting vaccinated and there is a light at the end of this very long tunnel. The absolute worst thing about this time is the amount of loss that has happened, not just in our country, but around the world. It is just too much to comprehend.

So, I return to faith and the chair. This morning, my husband had a little different take on it. He told me that although we do not recognize the chair or show it gratitude for its reliability, we have faith in it because we can trust it to be there and be strong. Your faith in it is so strong that you don't have to question weather it will hold you or not. This, he said, is a lot like our faith in God. We should have such strong faith that He is always there that we don't even have to think about it; for this just becomes our internal, unshakable truth. I know that this often unuttered faith is what has kept us going during this long and difficult year.